handle my business

To masterbate or play with oneself.

"I was so fucking horny, I had to handle my business."

by HotDyke August 2, 2006

3 Axe Handles Wide

Term that refers to a person with a big ass. 3 axe handles wide is measured to an axe that is turned horizontal, and timed by 3, which creates the notion of a wide ass.

Person A: Look at the size of that man!

Person B: I know, dude's ass has to be 3 Axe Handles Wide!

by BATMANCAUCASIAN June 6, 2009

handerson

process of giving a handjob, usual up in a lofted bed or nook.

Term keyed by a delta gamma sorority girl who performed it on her boyfriend in a fraternity house bed

Kate gave Billy a vicious handerson yesterday, the whole hallway was shaking!

by B Baldwin May 12, 2009

Finger handleballs

this resulted from a mispronouncation of finger handle bars, which is like a finerstache, only you get hand bars, instead of a moustache. After much debate, the group of new words (websters) decided it was a piercing that people got that involved piercing large rings through both testicles so your girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. could handle you by them.

Bob: Dude, did you hear Josh got him some Finger Handlebars?

Joe: GROSS! Wat is he, gay? those are for gays

Bob: HEY MAN! -drops pants- i have them too!

Joe: -pulls bob by his finger handleballs- you fucking faggot.

by SPECIALEDDIE October 20, 2008

jiggle the handle

shaking toilet handle to re-seat float valve, avoidance of dealing with permanent fix for same. GREAT rock band name!!

i better go jiggle the god damn handle!

tonight me and duane are going to see jiggle the handle

by michael foolsley December 10, 2009

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by dgfhgfdcghghfgghhhgggghhhhhhhh July 12, 2021

Love Handle Linger

A move a guy will do when he's done hugging you in attempts to seduce you.
As he's pulling away, he will graze his hand from one love handle to the other, take a step back, and give you a look like "Hey baby, let's talk. I care about your feelings."

Laura - "Hey, I hung out with my boss last night."

Rachael - "Who is your boss?"

Laura - "Gabe"

Rachael - "Oh no! WATCH OUT FOR THE LOVE HANDLE LINGER!"

by Hatamatic April 3, 2009