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Afghanistan Christmas Carol

Afghanistan Christmas Carol:

T' was the night before Christmas and all through the Land,
They're running like rabbits in Afghanistan,
Osama's been praying,
he's down on his Knees,
He's hoping that Allah will hear all his Pleas.
He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and Shatter,
But all that he's done is just make us Madder.
We ain't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut,
And we'll kick your butt,
with one heavy Boot.

And yes we remember the USS Cole,
And the lives of our sailors that you bastards Stole.
You think you can rule us and cause us to Fear,
You'll soon get the answer if you live to Hear.
And we ain't forgotten your buddy Saddam,
And he ain't forgotten the sound of our Bombs.
You think that those mountains are somewhere to Hide.
They'll go down in history as the place where you Died.

Remember Khadhafi and his Line of Death?
He came very close,
to his final Breath.
So come out and prove it,
that you are a Man,
Cause our boys are coming and they have a Plan.
They are our fathers and they are our Sons,
And they sure do carry some mighty big Guns.
They would have stayed home with children and Wives,
Till you bastards came here and took all these Lives.

Osama I wrote this especially for You,
For air mail delivery by B-52.
You soon will be hearing a thud and a whistle,
Old Glory is coming, attached to a Missile
I will not be sorry to see your ass Go.
It's Red, White, and Blue that is running this Show
by SandwichFOREATING April 21, 2011
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ChristmaHanuKwanzaakah

The Ultimate Winter Fusion Holiday
It's Christmas Hanukkah and Kwanzaa all rolled into one
This Holiday is useful for a family of many different religions (I can't imagine why but this is a good contingency plan for those of you not married, engaged, or met your significant other yet) It lasts 16 days, One for Christmas, Eight for Hanukkah, and Six for Kwanzaa
"I hope I get that book I wanted for Christmas, what did you ask for?"
"I exactly celebrate Christmas, I celebrate ChristmaHanuKwanzaakah. It's 16 days long!"
by Quinn Chun and Chris Mooney December 15, 2008
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christmas

Proof that we live in a major consumer culture.
Christmas is when we would rather buy something for someone than actually say 'thanks for being my friend'
by anti-consumer-culture December 28, 2005
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Christmas

The worst holiday of the year, which is, ironically, in the second best season of the year.
Winter might be my favorite season if it weren't for all the "Christmas-time" crap going on.
by FNW September 29, 2011
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Christmas creep

1. Universally hated, market driven phenomenon that if left unchecked will eventually culminate in an uninterrupted decade of concatenated carol medleys, closely followed by a glorious moment of frantic arson destroying every Christmatastasized mall in America.

2. Any one of the marketing executives responsible for it.
1. If it weren't for this gol-danged Christmas creep, I wouldn't be listening to "Jingle Bell Rock" on the Fourth of July!

2. If I ever get my hands on one of those Christmas creeps, I'll tie him to a chair and make him listen to "O Christmas Tree" until he screams for mercy.
by Boingerschleimer December 28, 2006
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Christmas Pudding

When you defecate down someone's chimney and wait for them to turn their fireplace on, to the smell of a burning boulder.

Commonly done at Christmas time.
Daniel: Holy shit, do you smell that?

Florence: Yeah, looks like someone's given you a Christmas Pudding, probably Santa.
by Toffian February 4, 2010
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christmas

A time of increased consumer spending.
"We've got everything you need for Christmas"

"Give her that perfect gift for Christmas"
by bvuidseb December 28, 2003
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