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kinning jesus

A mf that probably has a God Complex
Person one: Who do you kin?
Person two: Jesus you foolish mortal now bow down to your creator.
Person one: *Clutches wallet*
Kinning Jesus isn't a thing dumbass
by Ihavenothingtotypeherelmao April 30, 2021
mugGet the kinning jesusmug.

jesus lover

someone who believes in god but isn’t necessarily religious. they believe following jesus christ isn’t a religion but a relationship.
person one: are you religious?

person two: no, but i believe in god

person one: oh so you’re a jesus lover
by l_istall January 30, 2024
mugGet the jesus lovermug.

go find jesus

When your credit card customer service agent is refusing to help you with an issue and they keep repeating something irrelevant to your current problem over and over and over again - so often that you finally get upset and raise your voice, and then they threaten to end the call as if that's a threat, so you ask for their employee number and they say, yes, I can give that to you. So you ask for it, and then they tell you their name only, so you ask for their employee number again. And then they get all scared and say: I told you my name. So you say: what am I supposed to do? Call this giant company back and ask for the most generic name ever? So he tells you that the call is being recorded at which point you inform him that "god hates liars and thieves" and then you pull the phone away from your ear, put the speaker end towards your mouth and say, go find jesus. Basically, you say this to a person who is being a ridiculous heathen.
Go find jesus *hangs up the phone*
by MeleeYourFace March 25, 2025
mugGet the go find jesusmug.

Jesus School

A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
by Urtletheturtle August 4, 2018
mugGet the Jesus Schoolmug.

Black Jesus Cult

A cult for black jesus, participated in non racist acts and ran by Sid and jimmathy
Boy: black Jesus cult
Girl:the cult
Boy: bitch lasagne
by Budmouth6969 February 5, 2019
mugGet the Black Jesus Cultmug.

Jesus Hair

1. Something unknown or mysterious, and/or with mysterious origins.

2. An object that is near impossible to find or get.
1.
Person A: What is kept inside this dungeon?

Person B: An artifact. Some sort of Jesus hair.

2.

Person A: What do I need to make said potion.

Person B: You'd need to find a Jesus hair kept somewhere in the distant lands.
by red circle July 23, 2025
mugGet the Jesus Hairmug.

Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.
Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.
by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

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