Lutheran Jesus

It’s when you’re catholic friend with religious trauma finds random moments of blessings in everyday tasks.

Lutheran Jesus said I can’t come in the water right now. I don’t got to do anything!

by LandoFanF1 August 3, 2024

Jesus

Homo walking hairy pig.
Likes ducks and is covered in pimples

The pig eats jesus is the same as saying jesus eats the jesus or jesus eats the pig or the pig eats the pig. All same meaning m8

by Showi April 19, 2018

Jetway Jesus

When people fake the use of a wheelchair to get early boarding on a flight, but when the flight lands and they are miraculously able to walk off the plane on their own two feet, they've been "healed" by Jetway Jesus.

My flight yesterday had 10 people who needed wheelchairs to board and only two who needed wheelchairs to get off. Jetway Jesus must've been really busy on that flight!

by ahirebet July 23, 2024

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024

Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?

"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"

by themagnificentstarfish March 30, 2024

jesus serpent

when a serpent is as hot as jug head and as daddy material as FP with the hot as hell persona of toni

"NO MOM Kanye West is a jesus serpent not bill cosby" or also

"damn i'd like to smash that jesus serpant of a man they call jimmy fallon"

by kindofanicon June 12, 2018

Jesus

What my manager calls the church a few minutes up the road from my house

My manager when he drops me home: "I am going to take you to Jesus!"

by Jack Spank9049 January 7, 2023