Clint and Brent find a dead raccoon in their bedroom, and they would like to determine its age so they check to see if it has a silver dollar asshole by using their fingers to gauge its size.
by Half of 34 May 27, 2021
Get the Silver Dollar Asshole mug.A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.
EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
by Guru Crossly August 29, 2012
Get the Enlightened Asshole mug.Related Words
Abshole
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• asshole tax
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• Asshole next door
Hawkesbury, Ontario, Canada. Specifically, a sprawling, lesser known cesspool-like area of unknown usefulness and stank therein, perhaps utilizing the facade of 'nature reserve' to ward off the unwary of its true identity.
'What's that rancid stank, bro??'
'Look around you, son. We're sitting literally right in the middle of The Asshole of the Universe.'
'Must we toke up HERE??'
'Indeed. Now pass me that bottle, and right here: in the very epicenter of the Great Cosmic Ass, high as kites shall we imminently proceed to get.'
'So be it.'
'Look around you, son. We're sitting literally right in the middle of The Asshole of the Universe.'
'Must we toke up HERE??'
'Indeed. Now pass me that bottle, and right here: in the very epicenter of the Great Cosmic Ass, high as kites shall we imminently proceed to get.'
'So be it.'
by uncle Bert July 31, 2012
Get the The Asshole of the Universe mug.A supposed insult that office PC users use to mock their best friend's weight when they get yelled at in a Fortnite game. The exact meaning behind the phrase is still unknown due to the creator's refusal to explain himself, but many assume it refers to massive gastric inflations in one's body.
Friend: "I told you to revive me."
Office PC user: "I couldn't hear because of your fat asshole farting toxic!"
Office PC user: "I couldn't hear because of your fat asshole farting toxic!"
by queque12345 February 8, 2022
Get the Fat Asshole Farting Toxic mug.by Tom Ferrek June 14, 2004
Get the paper asshole mug.tear you a new asshole to be beaten senseless or near death to the point of not being able to fight back
man your girlfriend is so ugly and is going to have an ugly baby
dude, you better shut up about my girlfriend and our baby or I'm going to tear you a new asshole
man are you threatening me
yes man you better back off
ok man I get you
dude, you better shut up about my girlfriend and our baby or I'm going to tear you a new asshole
man are you threatening me
yes man you better back off
ok man I get you
by littlejimmie November 22, 2019
Get the tear you a new asshole mug.by Eric Renton May 6, 2006
Get the A bag of smashed assholes mug.