Don't Be Jesus 

A phrase, mostly used by friends and concerned lovers, to express a feeling of unease over one's current path of action, on the intuition that this path may lead to a violent end, sometimes but not exclusively by crucificationism.

Also can refer to acute messianic megalomania

Guy 1: Dude, I'm totally gonna go piss off those Roman soldiers by pretending to be the Messiah!
Guy 2: Don't be Jesus, man.

Guy 3: I CAN HEAL THE BLIND!!!1!
Guy 4: Whoa whoa, don't be Jesus now.

Don't Be Jesus by Tepea March 15, 2011

free pizza jesus 

When they hold a prayer event at your school and they give free pizza if you sit through it.

Person 1.) Aw man I have to deal with the free pizza jesus people today!
Person 2.) Well at least we get some quality pizza.
Person 1.) But they are so fucking annoying!

free pizza jesus by Free Pizza JESUS CHRIST ADASDA March 22, 2017

That's what Jesus said 

Clever retort applied where "That's what she said" could have been. Or even sometimes where it wouldn't be, the possibilities are endless.

"I'm just gonna hang around here for a while"

-"that's what Jesus said"

That's what Jesus said by SavKy January 11, 2009

zombie jesus on a pogostick 

When some shit so amazing happened that you would've had to have been there, otherwize no one would belive you if you told them.

1.
Omar: Holy shitz Robert!!!
Robert: Zombie jesus on a pogostick, did you see that?!
Omar: that nigga just got blasted by a racoon(actual
animal) holding a hand gun!!
2.
Tim: Zombie jesus on a pogostick nic r u ok?!
Nic: I had no idea my penis could bend that way
3.
Breanne: zombie jesus on a pogo stick did Tim just eat an 8x8
Gina: yeah to bad its not a hamburger

zombie jesus on a pogostick by Team Retro September 21, 2008

white jesus 

Aboriginal term for a white person, less rude than more common "white cunt", but supposed to have the same connotation.

Aboriginal man: Gimme some money you white Jesus
Centrelink Officer: I'm sorry, it is not your pay day
Aboriginal man: Youse white cunts is all the same.

white jesus by La Douche April 13, 2004

super jesus 

explains something that has an awsome nature to it.

dude #1: dude i rigged my lighter so that the flame goes like 1 foot high
Jackson: Oh u mean a Super Jesus lighter, which is an adjective i invented

*credit to this adject goes to Jackson of the band Jetset

super jesus by Steven J September 3, 2008

neverending beard of jesus himself 

1.) Pot. Weed.
2.) The beard our savior wore.

J: I got some of the neverending beard of jesus himself.
A: Hopefully it will be better than the last stuff we used...

neverending beard of jesus himself by Polish Sausage July 20, 2008