noob guard

On a modern bicycle, the rear gears (called a cassette) are separated from the spokes of the rear wheel by a plastic disc. The purpose is a preventative measure if the chain slips off into the wheel, the spokes are not destroyed; which keeps the rider safer from injury. However, if the limits on the derailleur are adjusted correctly, this should never be an issue. Typically, the plastic discs are removed from a newly purchased bike, else the cyclist will be considered a newbie or noob by colleagues.

Mr. Spandex: "You haven't removed your noob guard yet?"
New Biker: "Isn't it there for a purpose?"
Mr. Spandex: "It's just extra weight!"

by Philip the Water Tank December 31, 2010

ethan guardian eagle

Ethan guardian Eagle is a male name for someone who is extremely sweet and cares genuinely about...almost...everyone around him. He is compassionate and loving and would do anything to keep, protect, or prove his affection to the one he loves. He has a fantastic sense of humor and is extremely smart! he is extremely protective and ...romantic..in a sense!

person 1: I wish i had a boyfriend like that girl!
person 2: Who Ethan Guardian Eagle? Yah he is amazing to her!
Person 3: Every body loves him! Hes perfect!

by LessThanThree April 12, 2014

bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014

Cum Guards

Another name for eyeglasses. Also used to prevent ejaculation from entering eyeball, causing temporary blindness, and uncontrollable laughter.

Those chicks at the table are looking at us, lets go talk to them.
Ok, I'll take the one with the cum guards.
Cool.

by xxachary November 30, 2014

Always guard your pepperonis

That one time in regular show the movie when muscle man from the future sexually assaulted his younger self by slapping both of his mantits onto his face right after teaching him the importance of always guarding his pepperonis

Future muscle man: I know something that you don't
Past muscle man: What's that?
Future muscle man: Always guard your pepperonis *aggressively slaps younger muscle man's mantits*
Past muscle man: AEAEAEAEAEAEAEASSDDRSDIHSICLOKALKAJK(that noise muscle man makes)

by Mort got us in a fukin carwrek June 24, 2021

Occam's Safety Guard

Occam's Safety Guard - contends that devising clever alternatives to the simplest solution can be safely avoided all together, as the result will inevitably be the same. It is, if you will, the scabbard with which Occam's Razor can be safely stored.

It is in a sense, it is the principle which destroys the dreaded, 'analysis to paralysis' dynamic.

The tedious nature of these meetings, in which we indulge every clever thought that comes out of someone's head, could be thwarted through the use of "Occam's Safety Guard".

or

Andrej should consider employing Occam's Safety Guard before he delves into the complexities of Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich creation.

by The Infernal Machine December 26, 2011

Chicken fillet guarantee

The assurance you expect from the process, that it will not be deceiving and harmful, but will be completely enjoyable and safe for you.

Person: Hey, have you heard of this new movie that is on air? Should we go see it?
Me: Idkidk, what do people say about it?
Person: Uhmm, the opinions are mixed, but...
Me: Bruh, there ain't no "but". I need a "chicken fillet guarantee" that the movie is cool, otherwise that is no participation.

--------

Bro-1: Yo b, did you see this fly-ass chick over there? I heard she be doing mad things with that that....
Bro-2: Oh, word?
Bro-1: Chicken fillet guarantee, b.
Bro-2: Aight, Imma go get that Chick-fil-A then.

by 9on6 October 7, 2019