splash guard

when wearing glasses while performing oral sex to prevent crustaceous eyelids.

i bought your girlfriend some splash guards.

by er0315 May 24, 2005

banana guard

Male condom. Rubber. Dumdum, if you will.

Be safe. Use a banana guard everytime.

by Keenie May 18, 2006

Date Guard

A female 'friend' who shows no outward interest in you, but will go all out to prevent you from hooking with other women by patting you on your back while other women are watching.

I was so ready to hook up with the sheila, but annie saw us and ran in just to pat me on the back and whisper shit in my ear.
what a date guarding bitch.

by AdamZA August 11, 2008

monkey guarding

1. To stand in the way and wave arms frantically, like blocking a shot in basketball or soccer, usually without moving from the target area.

2. To keep others from getting a chance at something.

3. To try to hide something by putting your hands in front of it to keep it from being taken or viewed.

1. Buckwheat was penalized for once again monkey guarding the net.

2. Fat Frieda didn't let any of the other postal workers talk to her boss for fear they'd get her fired or promoted past her. Her co-workers knew she was monkey guarding the boss and got around her, getting her fired anyway.

3. Janette monkey guarded her coffee cup because she knew if Jack could get to it she wouldn't taste coffee the next time she drank it.

by HurtMyDog IKillYourCat November 6, 2010

Raping the Guardrail

When someone takes a turn so wide and fast in their vehicle, that when they get to the end of the turn, they start driving up against the guardrail, tearing up their vehicle, and giving unwanted attention to the rail, thus raping it.

Driving Teacher: Well, Suzie, you pretty much raped the guardrail on that wide turn you made on the intersect. I'm going to have to fail your driving test.

by Mister E. March 27, 2005

shooting guard

A position in basketball which usually shoots from the perimeter.

MJ is da best shootin guard

by blah June 8, 2003

guard

the part of a sword thats above the hilt and below the blade that prevents other swords fom hitting your fingers.

samurai1:*swings sword down opponents blade.

samurai2:guard automatically blocks* haha

by ykcir00222 November 9, 2009