shiftless bastard

A person usually a man in his twenties who lacks all forms of ambitions and aspiration, they usually lack any type of marketable skills and spend their days masturbating. They feel that their life on this earth is unwarranted due to the illegitimate fucking that brought him into the world.

Andrew is such a shiftless bastard, I know he doesn't know he's father and he's mother is working as a prostitute for coal miners but he could at least close the door when he's masturbating in the living room!

by Gunny bunny January 1, 2012

Make Shift Blumpkin

Giving yourself a hand job while taking a shit.

Billy found himself pleased at work most of the day after performing a make shift blumpkin.

by MufinMan November 11, 2007

Gear Shifter

-An improper form of performing a hand-job.

-When a girl, rather than stroking guy's junk properly, thinks it is necessary to pull a guy's penis back and forth like a manual car's gear shifter.

Mike: Hey man, how was she?
Dominique: She did it again.
Mike: HA! You got gear shifted!

Mike: Dom, how was it with that girl last night?
Dominique: Dude what the fuck, she gave me the gear shifter.

by Automatic transmission May 10, 2008

gear shift dildo

stick of a car used as a dildo by women sexualy excited by car, truck, vans or other motor vichecls

Dude! Whys my stick wet and smell like puss?! Dude I think your woman used it as a gear shift dildo

by Twitch Mutthawk June 21, 2007

The c shift

In the fire department culture, work is usually divided into 3 shifts, or platoons; A, B, & C shift. The C shift is the spawn of the A & B shift, when fire departments became busier with higher call volume. It was necessary, to have an extra shift, in order to get the other shifts longer group days off for rest & recovery. It was also necessary to get the stupidest, dumbest bunch of village fucking idiots into one group, so as to only let the public be in danger by their incompetence only 10 days out of the month instead of 15, or only 1/3 of the year, instead of 1/2 of the year. fuck sticksass clownsbutt fucking idiotsboner biting butt fuckersdonkey punching dick lickersshit eating fart knockers

A shifter: "Good morning C shifter, what happened to the rig & why do we have a reserve engine?"

C shifter: "Well, we were coming down the hill from a call & the brakes started smoking. When we came to a stop, I engaged the spring brakes. They never released. Oh, I guess you're suppose to down shift to a lower gear, too, when you're descending a hill. You ever heard of that before?"

A shifter: "What? Fuck me."

C shifter: "Oh, we were super busy, too, so we didn't wash the rig & you need to get fuel."

A shifter: "Dude, there's a fuel tank at the side of the station......was it that difficult to pull in after the last call & get fuel."

C shifter: "I was hungry & I wanted to eat. I didn't want the truckers to get the last of the pancakes."

A shifter: "You're such a fuck ass. Fuck, I hate the c shift."

by thefuriousone January 4, 2008

Double Shift

To have sex with a one night stand in the morning as well as the night before.

"Dude I did a double shift last night cos she was an awesome fuck"

"Hey thats my mum you're talking about dickhead"

by Ste Crayston November 2, 2006

a shift

a person who says something one day then changes their opinion to the opposite the next on a continuous basis

Trent: Bro, Melvin told me to fuck off and get out of his life last week, now he's saying i love you and acting like a mate

Abanoub: Yeah what a freak, he's done that like 20 times to me, such a shift.

by the original t-bag March 13, 2009