Killing two birds with one stone

When "Jesus Christ" was away in the desert, his wife (a Himalayan girl he had married after his traveling and teaching in the mountains, they married when he was sixteen or seventeen) and mother of his small children was accosted by sabateurs who told her "Jesus" was dead in order to lure her out and rape her. Roman soldiers led him to her in a dry river bed, where she was then stoned to death in front of him. The first stone, thrown possibly by her rapist, a lout in the Roman mob, killed her instantly. Jesus did not fight his "prosecution" after that, resigned to his fate because he blamed himself. That's the truth as I have been allowed to see. "Two birds with one stone" then the Romans appropriated his religion, making it their own, full of secrets and lies. Setting this example for us all!

When they murdered Christ's wife, the Romans were "killing two birds with one stone"

by Wifey 7643279 January 9, 2021

two jokes in one

Two jokes in one means when you're in a group of people and make a mean but really funny joke about anyone while someone in the group is connected to that anyone or it can be about anyone in the group but they don't get it. Also when you make the joke, usually you must let a couple friends know about it before you say it. The ending is priceless because you and a couple of friends end up laughing with the person the mean joke is about or connected to. Sometimes though you give a hint to the person you joke about and when they answer, your friends will start laughing hysterically while you say, "Oh, my bad man I didn't know that you...." or something like that. If you don't play dumb in the end, your friend may not like you.

There's also three, four, and five jokes in one. Three jokes in one is same as two jokes in one but the friend that you're joking about adds more stuff to the joke while being completely oblivious, making it three jokes in one. Four jokes in one is like three jokes in one but another person who wasn't following the joke or conversation, or doesn't even know what's going on, says they actually and honestly know or saw what you said. And finally five jokes in one is like four jokes in one but a person who didn't hear everything correctly starts talking about something completely different that is very little or completely not related to the original joke. There is no one joke in one because that's just an ordinary joke. Two jokes in one are 2 points, three jokes are 3, four jokes are 4, 5 jokes are 5.

This is all intended as fun things to do while hanging out with a group of friends.

Two jokes in one.

Person:

Man I met a girl yesterday and she is just plain dumb. She's kinda chubby and always wears these stupid gay colored flip flops. In this case you don't even have to let your friends know because they'll notice right away.

I went to the dealership and looked at some Hyundai cars. I can't believe people buy that kind of shit. Someone in the group has to own that car and others must know that too. But for the joker to get away with it, he or she has to play dumb and not know about the car.

Event:

This one is really tough to get right at the right time, but imagine you say something that nobody could believe one of your friends would do, and soon after you say that another friend comes from somewhere and does the exact thing while completely being oblivious to it. This is when you say "talking about the devil".

by ice breaker October 2, 2007

Two in the bloody, one in the muddy

This is essentially the same as two in the pink, one in the stink, but it's silly.

two in the bloody, one in the muddy-

by bloodyfingers August 29, 2012

One in the hand is worth two in the bush

A solo wank is better than two shags

Do you fancy a shag my lovely? Erm to be honest ' I'm going home to sort myself out ... You know what they say ... One in the hand is worth two in the bush'

by Wutanglou December 13, 2015

Fill two needs with one deed

To achieve two simultaneous goals with a single action.

A less violent alternative to the phrase 'to kill two birds with one stone'.

I needed to post a letter and buy some bread, so I though I'd fill two needs with one deed and stop at the mailbox on the way to the store.

by Ausgirl123 January 27, 2019

Kill two birds with one stone

It means to get two tasks done with one action.

For example, if you need groceries and cash, you can go to a grocery store. They will usually have an atm , and you could get your groceries and kill two birds with one stone.

by sag bag 100 September 8, 2025

Killing Two Bodily Fluids With One Urethra

a play one words from the old saying, "killing two birds with one stone", but this expression is used to describe the act of trying to piss and ejaculate at the same time, which is not possible, yet...

"Welp. I tried Killing Two Bodily Fluids With One Urethra. But sadly, it is not possible."

by JackMasterBater November 9, 2023