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The Matter Baby

Friend: "Hey bro, I just found the matter baby today"
Me: "What's the matter baby?"

Friend: "I can't believe you felt for that you gay fuck "
by Your Ego March 8, 2020
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Slaves & Masters

Players sit in a circle around a shuffled deck of cards. Each player chooses a card face down and then all players turn their cards over at once. The highest card becomes the Master for that round. The lowest card becomes the Slave. The slave's punishment is based on the suit of their low card:

* Hearts, the slave must have a chug of their drink (or pay the master a dollar).

* Spades, the slave loses one article of clothing.

* Clubs, the master asks a question of the slave and the slave must answer truthfully.

* Diamonds, the master gives the slave a dare.

In the case of a tie for high card, the slave must do their punishment for all masters. In the case of a tie for low card, all slaves perform the punishment on their cards, over-seen by the master. When all cards are tied, all players are slaves to the person on their left, and all players are masters to the person on their left.

If a person refuses their punishment, they are removed from the circle as a "bitch" and placed behind the master in question as a "get out of jail free card" to be used when one wishes to refuse a punishment. "I'm not gonna do that but my bitch will".

If a slave runs out of booze, cash, or clothes, their punishment is automatically converted to a dare.

When all slaves have “performed” for their masters, the next round begins.
"Oh man! We played Slaves & Masters til like 5 in the morning last night! Poor Jenn wound up going down on three different guys and a girl. She was so wasted!"
by BlueDude42 January 11, 2012
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Mattressbating

The delicate act of dry humping your mattress into submission until you cum
Oh, I was mattressbating there like an hour ago, you wanna play some Oreos?
by Wildcardbitch69 December 3, 2010
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virgin mattress

1. A brand-new bed, unsoiled by you, whoever might have owned it first, and anyone who may have previously "visited" it.
2. What you need to purchase if your bed is older than you are.
Yeah, I think it's time for a virgin mattress.
by lander88 November 9, 2010
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brown mattress

A mattress in the Figueroa residence that breaks your spine and keeps you in pain for weeks.
I slept on the brown mattress last night and my back was sore for weeks!
by someonefromglassboro December 29, 2016
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going to the mattresses

From the movie "The Godfather":

CLEMENZA: That Sonny's runnin' wild. He's thinkin'a going to the mattresses already. We gotta find a spot over on the West Side
by slugbait October 22, 2006
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Marshall Mathers III

Marshall Mathers is the best writer ever and doesn't take crap from anyone.
by Rhaegan Dye September 5, 2003
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