beat the lord jesus 

Rural Irish colloquialism expressing astonishment, disbelief, or even admiration for any random fact.
Variants include "Beat the Holy man" when in polite company, and "Beat the fuck" when amongst friends.

"Johnny down the road turned his tractor over on the road the other night after drinking 14 pints in the local"
"Beat the Lord Jesus!"

"I went to Africa on holiday, and it was 45C every day there"
"Beat the fuck."

beat the lord jesus by niamh o'toole March 28, 2008

bag over the head job 

is said when u want to fuck a woman who is so fucking ugly but has a fine body, i.e huge chebs nice pun, and lovely legs that you would love to be between!

dude 1:oh dude she has got huge chebs
dude 2:and her legs r fukin stunning
dude 1:its a shame she is so fucking ugly
random dude: defo bag over the head job!!

bag over the head job by Allan Galeziewski July 23, 2007

The G Job 

when you have anal sex with girlfriend of over 1 year. the catch is shes too afraid of pregnancy through ass so you need a condom, but you dont have one, thus using basketball shorts as your condom.

hard boner going through basketball shorts into ass hence...THE G JOB

The G Job by G.Job November 26, 2006

the Great Joe Bivins

A great philosophical leader of the 21st century, also known for his written works, his musical prowess, and his astounding photoshop skills. He enjoys long walks on the beach and fine dining so long as it's fast food...

The Great Joe Bivins is a really great guy, and I wish I knew him better.

the Great Joe Bivins by Joe Bivins March 23, 2005

The Farmer John 

when you shit in someones mouth and they proceded to give you head while being fu*ked by a beast of burden or other largely endowed animal

When I came home from the fair I called Bubba...then we unloaded Bessie from the trailer and did The Farmer John.

The Farmer John by Wooly Wombat March 27, 2005

The Captain Jaybird 

recieving oral sex while driving a boat and right as you ejaculate you push her head down onto your shaft(causing her to gag and/or choke), pull her up and immediately box her ears and push her off the boat. As you are giving her a sturdy shove don't forget to yell "peace bitch, tell your friends!"

That son of a bitch said he was taking me fishing and all I got was "The Captain Jaybird

The Captain Jaybird by dirtyjaybird85 March 10, 2011

The papa John 

When your fucking a girl from behind and your about to come and you grab her by the neck and whisper in her ear “one click of the mouse papas in the house”and you both instantly cum.

Oh,oh! One click of the mouse papas in the house ahhhh!!! Oh yes I love the papa john.

The papa John by Sodiepops February 21, 2018