John Key 

New Zealand rhyming slang for Donkey Punch, similar to the Wolf Bag technique and named after the Prime Minister who won the country's trust through his seeming mild-mannered ineptness, allowing him to take them from behind and smack them in the head. Typically, only the person delivering a John Key benefits, while the person receiving a John Key suffers immensely and risks permanent brain drain. It is the sly con and false pretenses of a John Key that distinguishes it from a standard Donkey Punch or Wolf Bag.

New Zealand was so loose, even John Key barely got a reaction from them.

John Key by Red Hood November 29, 2012

JOHN KERRY 

A man that tried to become the next president, but got tied up in the fact he did not no were to stand on important issues.

That John Kerry guy thinks that the war is good, then bad, then good, then bad, then good, then bad....(infinite goods and bads).

JOHN KERRY by pheonix blackhawk May 17, 2005

john william 

annoying and whiny usually a guy. Whiny 24/7, 7. perverted as nothing else. He is normally a jerk to people he doesn't like. Though he can be pretty cute. Looks really hot when he actually smiles.

Wow he is definitely a john william.

john william by LAMFO May 24, 2010

John Howard 

George Bush's alien assistant who does nething he says 2 weaken the world 2 turn it into a universal dump.

also used to describe some1 with john howard-like qualities.
eg: a coward, a but kisser, an absolute freaking idiot.

oh no our planet is doomed! john howard has just made it possible 4 the country of australia to all lose their jobs and starve 2 death.

what will john howard do next- it is in his power to order all babies born with blue eyes killed!

John Howard by me-me-me July 24, 2008

John Wilkes Booth

A variation of the Abe Lincoln performed using another person's pubic hair (i.e., not one's own). The recipient is often extremely surprised to have the John Wilkes Booth performed on him/her as the presence of a full head of pubic hair has given him/her comfort that an Abe Lincoln is not imminent. The individual performing the John Wilkes Booth typically exclaims "sic semper tyrannis" as he launches the pubes. The John Wilkes Booth can be performed anywhere, but is most often observed in theater balconies.

"Damn that Steve. I thought he was being a sweetheart by taking me to a play for my birthday, but then he goes and unloads a John Wilkes Booth on me."

John Wilkes Booth by qqduck October 20, 2007

John Kerry guys! 

aka "jk guys!" or "just kidding guys!"

room full of people...

"FIRE!!!!"

panic ensues....

"John Kerry guys!!!"

John Kerry guys! by trippaholic May 27, 2005

john madden 

see madden

john madden is the greatest coach ever

john madden by maxzilla June 22, 2003