the oldest definition on Urban Dictionary, here it is. Try reading it 10 times, I don't think it will be easy.

the title of this definition lol

the oldest definition on Urban Dictionary, here it is. Try reading it 10 times, I don't think it will be easy.

by Brey234 August 15, 2021

close reading

Reading a book in a state of exhaustion, resulting in ones face dropping steadily closer to the page.

I was at the library doing some close reading. Woke up and I had dissolved several verses of Keats in drool.

by Luke T September 29, 2007

Reading the Newspaper

Reading the newspaper is the act of jacking off, beating the meat, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, wanking off, pocket pool, pleasure yourself, or just plain old masturbation.

Caitlyn: I don't read the newspaper not three, not four, but fifty-six times daily!

Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!

Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..

by t0uchmiib0dy August 2, 2008

Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story

To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.

Man, go read grandma a bed time story.

by DIE May 28, 2003

anal retainer

A device used to repair ones rumpus after being anally raped by a fat guy.

Omg!!! Now i need an anal retainer!

by MuDaRy October 29, 2005

Retainer Face

When a person removes their retainer from their mouth and proceeds to wipe the slimy contents off of the retainer on another person's face.

Man, Danielle just gave me a Retainer Face!

by cool_ice December 31, 2011

retardinized

When oneself was at one point a normal person, but became a very large retard. To become retardinized is useful in the moron test(a very challenging game on the I-device). After one becomes retardinized, they often will do very dumb and inhuman things. One example being cliff jumping.

John became retardinized and somehow got anal worms.

by JohnDoe08 November 22, 2013