Skip to main content

Canadian History

A deliciously nubile vagina. Pure and fresh as the Canadian Rockies and warm and soothing like Harrison Hot Springs....as wet as a Great Lake, yet tight like Welland Canal. Scented like the Hatley Park Rose Gardens, it gives off an intoxicating aroma....with just a hint of maple. Well trimmed golden sheaves remniscent of prarie wheat, truly a splendour to behold. Best to be enjoyed during the summer months.
Hoser A: Let's head down to the pub and see if we can get some Canadian History....

Hoser B: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard it called......but to hell with it, I do likes the beaver....let's roll....
by wangstank February 5, 2010
mugGet the Canadian History mug.

Canadian

Can you believe that we hired our first Canadian??!!!??
by Nasty Dave May 9, 2019
mugGet the Canadian mug.

The Emperor of Canada

The Emperor of Canada is a misogynitic wife-killing, leader relatively unconcerned with the goings on inside of the violent riotous matriarchal lands of what is known of as "Canada".
It is said that he was the son of the last Emperor who built a castle in what is falsely known of as Ottawa or "Otterwa", this last Emperor being COMPLETELY oblivious and unknown to the rest of "Canada". It was said the previous Emperor was suffering from some form of schizophrenic disorder, and and may or may not have committed various violent crimes against women, starting with matricide. Noone has bothered to trace his lineage, and it is unknown who his father or grandparents were, or where he really came from.
The public finally became aware of their Emperor when he declared war on what is falsely known of as the Northwest Territories. At this time he called for all able bodied men to take up arms, to which the women of "Canada" picked up their own arms in outrage over the blatant disregard for their practice of prohibiting men from picking up weapons or moving independently.
The Emporer was, it is said intensly shocked at the ferocious matriarchal force, having had no idea of the nature of the society which he ruled. He had to retreat ironically into the very lands he had declared war on.
He was allowed a small house there and the women of the southerm area of "Canada" were content that he remain out of their lands if indeed they didn't forget about him all together for the next two months, life in "Canada" being a constant struggle to maintain wealth, status, and viability.
The people in what is known of as the Northwest Territories were largely still entirely unaware of the presence of the Emperor, except vague rumors that had it that it was merely a lame rabid dog that escaped from a medical testing facility, that probably was shot, or feeding off of people in the woods.
It was during the Emperors two month excile to what is known of as the Northwest Territories, that he began planning for a more involved government, he took, and murdered two wives during this period, and was chased out of five towns and near fatally wounded. Twice it was thought that the "defective man", as he was soon called, must have just been eaten by a rabid dog in the woods, as he would lie low for several days after being chased from a town.
It was at the end of the two months that he was approached by the Clown Death Squad who claimed to be his most loyal citizens, and promised to help him back into his castle, which was currently being used as a printing press, in between fires, and a medical testing facility trying to find a cure for rabies.
During the Emperor's excile, several rabies infected dogs escaped and disappeared, and it was discovered, and then forgotten, the evidence destroyed in a fire, that many people in "Canada" had an immunity to rabies due to frequent and long term exposure. Some were also symptomless carriers of the disease. To prevent symptoms, it was said you should drink whiskey constantly, then again it was always said to be wise to drink whiskey constantly. It was law to drink whiskey constantly.
The Emperor with the help of the Clown Death Squad took over his castle again, and an uneasy truce ensued between the emperor and the people.
Who is The Emperor of Canada? Canada doesn't have an Emperor!!!!!
by James Dracon March 1, 2008
mugGet the The Emperor of Canada mug.

Canadian Uppercut

When your bitch is acting up and she won’t listen, drop to one knee and give her a power Canadian Uppercut to the cunt.
by Dogtooth Crew June 1, 2019
mugGet the Canadian Uppercut mug.

Canadian Armed Forces

Canadian Armed Forces have some of the best overall trained soldiers in the world. They do not have much in the way of money or equipment, but our soldiers are on average smarter and stronger then the average soldier from many other countries. They think for themselves, and commanders at all levels encourage and respect this, just so long as the job is finished.
In a recent military competition at the US Westpoint Military Acadamy, 2 British, 1 Canadian, and around 40 American teams competed. Canada took first for the second year in a row, and the British took 3rd and 4th. The Canadian Armed Forces also have the best snipers in the world.
by Ben Angle May 22, 2006
mugGet the Canadian Armed Forces mug.

Canada

A country located in North America, to the north of the United States. The two primary languages are English and French, while French is mainly only spoken on the East Coast. The second largest country in the world, Canada has a very low polulation in proportion to its geographical size. There are lots of untouched spaces, and Canada is also very clean. It's government is modeled after the British government. Its capital is Ottawa. The Prime Minister is Paul Martin, a member of the Liberal Party.
I am going to visit my cousin, who lives in Canada.
by YourMom July 30, 2004
mugGet the Canada mug.

Calea

A drop dead beach beauty whom will catch the eye of any man. She is gorgeous and funny and a great friend. She is hard to get to know but once you get to know her there is no telling what you will do.
Omg look at the smokin hot calea.
by lAUREN September 2, 2013
mugGet the Calea mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email