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Baptist First Time

When a nice Baptist girl waits until her wedding night to have sex, only to find that her hymen has solidified and her nice Baptist boy is unable to penetrate her. After the embarrassment, awkwardness, and doubt subsides, she is forced to go have a doctor surgically "pop her cherry." This concludes the Baptist First Time.

*Any form of conservative dogma that is cuckoo about premarital sex can be substituted for Baptist.
Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Yo dude, your wife was a virgin, right? That's hot! How was she?"

Nice Baptist Boy: "We had a Baptist First Time. She was un-enter-able."

Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Ouchhhh. That's balls, man."

Nice Baptist Boy: "Yeah, the doctor got to have all the fun."
by CMKTBH January 8, 2010
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Baptise That Ass

Pulling out and blowing your load all over a female's ass after having sex in the doggystle position.
Suppose you see a fine woman walk by with a nice ass, you can say, " Damn baby girl, I wanna baptise that ass" or "Hey baby, why don't you come back to my crib and I'll baptise that ass".
by Your Reverend August 4, 2006
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River Oaks Baptist girls

really hot girls who are hotter then all the fat-legged kinkaid, st. johns, and first pres. girls put together!!!
st. johns guy: whoa look at that fine girl over there!!

st johns guy 2: yea she goes to river oaks baptist! they're all like that!
by la June 28, 2004
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baptist

A protestant denomination which bileves in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, through faith and not works. Baptist bileve in baptism by submersion, and they take The Great Commission very seriously.
A person who is a member of the baptist denomination
by UOE November 13, 2007
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Southern Baptist

The most narrow minded religion in the world, which reject gays, black people, non-Christians, Atheists and all other forms of religion. They exist in America, and can be extremely racist. In all honestly, they give Christians everywhere a bad name.

If you see one, I’d advise you run, and if they get too near – shoot first, ask questions later!
Me: I'm a Christian, and my brothers an Atheist. What? No, we're normal people! No I'm not a euro piece of trash. Why am I not born in America? Because I wasn't! No, I am a Christian; I'm just not a Southern Baptist... No, wai- Ahhhhh!
by Romanblood December 9, 2008
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landover baptist

The soil that covers the grave of a member of the Baptist faith.
After Pastor Jeremiah died, his coffin was placed in a freshly dug hole, which was then filled in with landover baptist.
by Led Zeppole November 8, 2003
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Southern Baptist

The Southern Baptist Convention is a far-right, White Supremacist cult founded in the 1830s for the sole purpose of defending human (specifically African-American) slavery.

While it claims to to be based on the Word of God and has trappings of Christianity, the truth of is far more sinister: The Southern Baptist Convention is a tool of the saee Anti-Christ whose machinations are responsible for corrupting our world with fascism, Stalinism, ceand Naziism.

Its creators were Southern slaveowners and their braindead sympathisers, who cried like spoiled children because the humanitarian and progressive northerners would not fund pro-slavery congregation, pay slave-owning ministers, or support pro-slavery missionary activity.

Northerners, progressive Southerners, and African-American southerners continue to serve our Lord and Saviour as the American Baptist Convention, while Southern Baptists have gone on to stand up for racial segregation, homophobia, misogyny, theocracy, and reactionary nationalism. Through the control of the Republican Party and the DLC (both of which they share with corporate interests), Southern Baptists continue to inflict hate, pain, and suffering upon America and upon the world.
Jerry Falwell, a prominent hatemonger affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention, supported racial segregation until it became so politically unacceptable to do so that his career hand his ability to defraud people by exploiting their faith would have been ruined. Likewise, both Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell have used their disgusting faith as excuses to launch tirades against social liberals, women, homosexuals, the working classes, and religious minorities.
by CommieCowboy April 9, 2006
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