major johnson

A saucy grandad with a 12 inch schlongg, loves a cheeky saville inspired bum in the shower. Likes to drive minibuses with 20 kids in the back.
"How longs the journey sir?"

"12 inches"

Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"

Watch out, Major Johnsons about

by grevs February 10, 2017

johnson lover

One who expresses love towards male genitalia

The workers found out their boss was a johnson lover the other day.

by bolt06 September 21, 2016

Fuckboy Johnson

This biggest douchebag on the face of the world.

Fuckboy Johnson: "Dude I can bench like 3543533532643634574574563454 pounds bro, fight me."

Bob: "Shut the hell up, Fuckboy Johnson."

by OneKillWonder September 18, 2016

Cummy Johnson

After you pull out, you cum in your hand and slap her across the face.

I gave Rebecca that cummy Johnson last night.

by DonniesGrapes January 26, 2018

Dakota Johnson

When a Dakota Johnson happens to you. It means that you were accused of not inviting a certain person to your 30th birthday party.

"Man, I just got Dakota Johnsoned"
"My friend just Dakota Johnsoned me"

by JustOneHappyBoiii June 30, 2021

Marlton Johnson

A God among three other people. No one has as much swag as the engineer of destiny.

Dayum. Marlton Johnson is sassy.

by Hester shaw August 26, 2013

Hannah Johnson

A girl who must be protected at all costs because she is a fitty

Adele loved Hannah Johnson.

by Chumlee Johnson November 7, 2023