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text sputter

The inexplicable sending of texts or SMS messages in two to four-word fragments, exasperating the recipient. Someone who text-sputters usually sends instant messages on the Internet the same way, and fires off e-mails without salutations, sign-off, or even the quote feature. Indecipherable txtese thrown in for good measure is par for the course. Often can't be bothered with punctuation, and also favors writing in either all caps or all lower case. The kind of person who initiates first-time conversations with strangers with the word "and."
MICK: hey went to
tower records n
bought 3 CDs
2day thn I
pckd up dzn
rss 4
Rosalita then i

ROSALITA: This IS Rosalita. Can't wait for the flowers, but please consolidate the text sputter!

MICK: sorry I
didn't mean
to, will work
on
it
by SugarFreeSheila.com February 7, 2010
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German Log Splitter

When man is laying in bed and a friend comes along and first grabs his legs. He then takes his foot and quickly proceeds towards his genitals and then goes in for the kill. Ouch!
Man 1: Why do you look so sore?
Man 2: Dude I got the German Log Splitter last night and now I can barely walk.
by maples123 May 9, 2009
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leg splitter

when your doing it to a girl whos legs are pointing at about a 120 degrees angle, they you grab her legs and pull them apart as hard as possible. this will not only feel great, but it will also pull her hamstring. (depending on how hard you pulled)
"hey peat"
"what"
"when i was doing your mom last night i did a leg splitter..."
"so?"
"i think shes dead"
by useonthego December 20, 2008
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Pittsburg Splatter

The act of covering one's face with plastic wrap and having your partner let loose diarrhea on your face.
I begged my girlfriend to give me a pittsburg platter, but she had diarrhea and gave me a pittsburg splatter instead..
by daisiemae December 9, 2008
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ninja splatter

Defined by splooging on a girl's face whilst she is asleep, and then quickly departing before she can discover who did it.

Must be quickly followed by "Ninja splattered, bitch!"
1) Bob: "Dude, our new pledge Rob totally ninja splattered Joanne to get in our frat."
Bill: "Ha ha that's awesome"

2) Joe jumps in through Jessica's window,lets off a huge load in her eye, then jumps back out the window, yelling "Ninja splattered, bitch!"
by MaximumCamoflauge March 8, 2008
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Boston splatter

When you are doing a ho who has projectile dirhea.
Professor Button: "BOSTON SPLATTER SPREE"
Duncan: "MILK"
by professor buttons February 20, 2009
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green apple splatters

aka "cider poo" drinking too much cider the nite before and waking up with more than a fat bird
damn i was throwing back the scrumpy last nite got a case of the "green apple splatters"
by kaaos_crust October 16, 2006
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