cactus

Something you dont want to put up your butt.

Person 1: yo want my dick
person 2: no thats cactus.

by LizardInACan April 27, 2016

Cactus Sack

when the hair on your nuts resembles
the prickly needles of a cactus, as a
result of going extended lengths of
time between shaving.

i need to shave, i've got some
major cactus sack going on.

by BLACKFRANK October 22, 2008

Slapping the Cactus

(v). to slap the cactus, to be slapping the cactus, to have slapped the cactus.

A phrase used upon the realization that you are (or even within the act of) doing something worthy of a *facepalm* only it is worse. It is also the more exciting substitute for calling someone dumb, or stupid.

"Sarah was definitely slapped the cactus last night - she turned the stove on, forgot that she had, and proceeded to set her laundry down - thankfully she only singed her eyebrows when she tried to put the fire out with the contents of a suspicious water bottle that turned out to be full of vodka"

Sam: "Come on man, you HAVE to admit, Shelby is pretty hott"
Tim: "Dude, stop slapping the cactus - she looks like a mule"

by Sienna Shay October 3, 2010

cactosexual

A craving/longing to become sexually active with a cactus. Putting a cactus inside and around your genitalia, and getting pleasure from it.

Bob "man that cactus is just turning me on i want to shove it up my anus"

Emma "Hey when yor finished with your cactus can i have it i think im cactosexual and i want to experiment"

by Mariposia June 7, 2011

Cactus

A racial slur for a Mexican who is being a dick

At a bar:
Girl: You think you can get me drink?

Guy: I can't! The guy at the counter's not letting me! He's such a Cactus!

by MCRainbowSupernova8196 December 29, 2019

Prickly Pear Cactus

When a guy shaves his pubes and lets it grow out until it reaches 5 o'clock shadow. Shortly after, get a blow job from a chick and before you're about to bust grab the back of her head and rub her face all over your prickly pubes. The result is a rug burned faced with jizz dripping from her nostrils and mouth.

I brought that a bitch prickly pear cactus as a house warming gift.

by Zebrarez October 16, 2014

cactus crusher

An offensive word used to name Mexican people. Derived from incidents where illegal immigrants accidentaly land on cactus as the jump the border.

That cactus crusher smells like beans.

by doooz August 19, 2008