Angry Jesus 

Occures when a female ties a naked male to the bed in the shape of the cross, and walks out.

I'm so mad that, that bitch put me in an Angry Jesus last night!

Angry Jesus by T1T4Nium 5p0rK March 17, 2007

sweet feathery jesus 

A phrase uttered out of disgust, surprise, awe, etc. Most likely coming about due to the popular idea of angels having wings and therefore having feathers. I'm pretty sure if Jesus had wings they'd be more like a bat's wing rather than feathery but whatever.

First heard on the Phil Hendrie Show by Pastor William Renick.

Tommy: How much to get my brakes fixed?
Mechanic: That's gonna run you 'bout $700.
Tommy: Sweet feathery Jesus!

sweet feathery jesus by Butt-nut May 9, 2007

inverted jesus 

act of sex involving one female and three males. Female lays on bed with head at foot of bed, tea bagging male number one who is standing above her. males two and three at each side of the bed receiving hand jobs from female, stretching her out like an inverted jesus

shit, that bitch was goin crazy, we layed her out like an inverted jesus!!!

inverted jesus by Cantankerous Captain Aptos March 29, 2005

I'm not saying I'm [Jesus]...I'm just saying  

An expression to be used prior to a statement that
a) though delivered with good intentions, may potentially sound critical or
b) points out that you were correct (assuming you were initially doubted)

May also be used interchangeably with the term "baby Jesus"

"I'm not saying I'm Jesus...I'm just saying that you should probably turn right at the next light"

"I'm not saying I'm baby Jesus...I'm just saying that you got a ticket for parking there (like I said you would)"

I'm not saying I'm [Jesus]...I'm just saying by MissMelanieG January 13, 2009

fuck me in the ass cause i love jesus 

This is a song but it is called the Loophole it is funny as fuck so FUCK ME IN THE ASS CAUSE I LOVE JESUS

"Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus"

fuck me in the ass cause i love jesus by Emberlee77008 follow musically May 9, 2018

Raptor Jesus 

The female human has two X chromosomes and therefore can give birth ONLY to females via parthenogenesis. In Varanus sp. (the Komodo dragon and relatives), parthenogenesis can produce only males. This is compelling proof that Jesus was, in fact, a monitor lizard.

Raptor Jesus went extinct for our sins.

Raptor Jesus by raptorjesusrawr September 25, 2010

raptor jesus 

Raptor Jesus, the o Holy lord of all our worlds. He owns us all, and his disciples. Follow him, and he will spare his might from you. Raptor Jesus can move at Ninjah Speed.

And our Lord, Raptor Jesus, Came Upon, and delivered his holy wrath, and smote us.

raptor jesus by RaySpeed January 24, 2008