Phrase coined by Tucker Carlson to apparently mean someone who claims to be a stripper but is in reality a prostitute. According to Mr. Carlson it can be assumed that all strippers are in fact crypto-hookers. Also, according to his legal scholarship, such individuals offer less reliable evidence in courts of law and thus testimony from them should not be taken seriously even though they are under oath.
Tucker Carlson asserted that the testimony of a woman allegedly raped at an off-campus party hosted by members of the Duke University men's lacrosse team "is to be taken ... a little differently" from that of "an ordinary person" because she is "a crypto-hooker" who "hires herself out to dance naked in front of and ... sometimes sleep with ... strangers." From Media Matters
by daiglo April 24, 2006
Hooker trying to escape her pimp. It is the altercation that occurs but she succeeds to become a successful entrepreneur
by Joyfulbird March 06, 2016
A procedure of which takes place in the morning, you drink a swig (mouthful) of vodka in replacement of brushing your teeth to then spit it out.
by Lucifer_009 April 11, 2018
by Tom Jankadewdle May 01, 2011
when males or females (most of the time females) wear outfits that are EXTENSIVELY provocative to the mall.
The chick wearing the wicked wicked wicked wicked wicked short, wicked wicked wicked wicked wicked wicked tight shorts that made her have to walk funny was totally hookered out, and i was going to ask her if she was really a hooker, and if she wasnt a hooker, what the hell was she thinking?
by core J August 04, 2005
by Neechie Bella May 17, 2011
a partner that is so lazy,so irresponsible that you have to LITERALLY pay them to get up off your couch.
i heard lisa had a new boyfriend.... yes, but he's a couch hooker, she has to pay him to get up when she gets home from work....ah,bummer.
by karmagirlbme April 11, 2010