no-wipe

The healthiest of bowel movements requiring no use of toilet paper. Usually characterized by a corrugated surface and typically the product of a healthy diet.

Man I was glad to have a no-wipe this morning. My veggie diet and regular trips to the gym are really paying off!

by Moorebucks March 8, 2011

safety wipe

The wipe that occurs hopefully after one finishes his last wipe of his shat in order to ensure the shit ticket is indeed un-skathed. This action will ensure not having a nasty case of ia

Dude, your walkin' like somebody just took a dremel to your kornhole.... sure you did the safety wipe?

by funEmahn August 31, 2004

ghost wipe

you take a poop and then when you wipe there is nothing on the toilet paper.

If i had a ghost wipe i would not have to use toilet paper.

by adihall October 12, 2009

ghost no wipe poopie

Compound word: Ghost poopie + No wipe poopie

Also referred to as "G-No-Wipe-Poopie"

A ghost no wipe poopie refers to a situation where while engaging in defecation, one feels a dropping exit the anus and hears the incurring splash. However, upon wiping the sphincter, no remnants are visible upon the toilet paper (no wipe poopie). In addition, the droppings appear to be absent from the toilet (ghost poopie).

The result can be frantic forced recollection of whether or not the poopie actually existed. This could possibly extend into more serious psychosomatic disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and, of course, defecation disorders.

Please seek immediate medical attention in the event of a ghost no wipe poopie as consequences are dire.

by David Hawaii May 2, 2007

mid-day wipe

A much needed mid-day wipe of one's anus after a previous night of heavy boozing/drinking wine/beer, followed by a morning of greasy, wet farts that have the possibility of leaving a brown shit smear on one's undies if left unchecked.

Parker and Hamilton stayed up all night drinking Big Bear 40 oz malt liquors and jugs of cheap wine.

The next day, Parker was having trouble at work. He had a case of mud butt diarrhea followed by a series of beer farts.

He excused himself right before lunch and went to the bathroom for a mid-day wipe.

by Jrubadub November 7, 2010

G.I. butt wipe

During World wars I and II,American foot soldiers were only issued about 10 individual squares of toilet paper to keep backpack weight and volume to a minimum.If a soldier needed to wipe his butt,he would take one square of toilet paper and fold it into quarters. He would then tear out a semicircular portion from the common corner which left a hole in the middle of the paper when unfolded.He would then stick his forefinger through the hole and wipe his ass with the protruding finger. The paper was grasped at the base of the finger with the free hand while the soiled finger was slowly pulled free of the paper.The contaminated square was then discarded and the corner previously removed was used to clean from under the fingernail.

When the toilet paper roll starts getting low,I will generally implement the G.I. butt wipe procedure.

by wolfbait51 June 1, 2011

one wipe shit

A bowl movement that only requires one wiping of toilet paper to remove all of the poop residue from one's anus. A one wipe shit usually falls out of the anus at a high velocity and has a very solid, low liquid form; yet, it produces no splash back from the toilet bowl water.

I ate so much fiber that my poop dropped out of my anus and barely left any residue, requiring only one wipe to clean my butt hole. I wish that all of my daily shits were one wipe shits so that I could save money on toilet paper.

Mentioned on the Adam Carolla Podcast 8-11-11

by pzeke August 14, 2011