Today Johnny wanted to masturbate, but was worried that his mother would catch him and tell him that he would go blind.
by Skeet Masta May 09, 2006
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by Humpty August 18, 2003
something a guy has to do every day if he hasnt had sex or it will come out at night in the form of a wet dream and mess up his boxers
by sycop August 12, 2005
Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.
He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.
"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"
He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.
"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"
by PeckMcGee August 20, 2008
*some of the* slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank, and waxing your carrot.
Now... Banning fantasizing about your neighbors wife? Well what else is a man supposed to think about while he's waxing his carrotmasturbate?
-Source: George Carlin
-Source: George Carlin
by Aazn January 25, 2006