Jerk Occupied

When a girl only dates guys that will hurt her and leave her crying.
Guy #1: Why has that girl been crying so much lately?

Guy #2: I think it's because she's been jerk occupied. She'll only date men that will hurt her.
by Quzu May 15, 2011
Get the Jerk Occupied mug.

Soft Jerk

Masturbation of or a hand job performed on a soft, flaacid penis. Remains soft and unerect and unable to nut.
I passed out last night doing a soft jerk.

Rachel was disappointed in my performance after she was only able to give me a soft jerk.
by Eaton Holgoode February 12, 2018
Get the Soft Jerk mug.

Jedi Jerking

Pleasuring yourself with your mind just like a Jedi would.
Guy:"Do you know what i did yesturday"

Dude:"No what?"

Guy:"I was Jedi Jerking next to your mom"
by NHViolator January 17, 2014
Get the Jedi Jerking mug.

jerk sock

a sock that when guys are jerking off they (jizz) in it so it wont be on the curtains, carpet, bed or couch.
i had to flush my jerk sock because my mom came into the bathroom
by symple jack January 10, 2009
Get the jerk sock mug.

Facebook Jerk

The act of treating facebook as a pornographic medium through which one finds sexual pleasure, often committing the sin of masturbation.
Mark: Omg did you see Jamie's new vacation album. I swore in one picture you could see her butt crack
Tom: Facebook Jerk!
by MH Lazarus January 17, 2008
Get the Facebook Jerk mug.

jerk off

1. To masturbate by rubbing the penis, jack off.

2. To waste time in an annoying way. Goof off, jerk around, fart around.

3. A person who is distracted and wasting time. Also spelled: jerk-off

4. An insult: something you'd call a person, implying vaguely that the person is clueless or inferior.
"Joe jerks off two or three times a day."
"Last night, his girlfriend jerked him off in the car."

"Is our son jerking off again, when he ought to be doing his homework?" (Yeah, the old man meant "goofing off," but he said "jerking off." Heh heh.)

"Hey, jerk-off, quit watching the game and roll some dice."

"That jerk-off? He's a total douchebag."
by vanilla g-lotto December 22, 2004
Get the jerk off mug.

Urkel Jerk

Jacking off while looking in a mirror when you're dressed as Steve Urkel.
As I was getting for Halloween dressed as Steve Urkel, I busted a quick Urkel Jerk.
by Satans Buttpussy January 21, 2011
Get the Urkel Jerk mug.