I reject your reality and substitute my own. 

A phrase used by a person who likes to eat shit, to some extent knows that eating shit is bad for them, but doesn't acknowledge that fact and therefore dismiss it.

It can be seen as a modern analogy to Plato's cave.

Example (à la Patrick's wallet meme):

PC user: You know that the baseline Mac Pro costs 5 times as much money than a similarly-spec'd windows based machine, right?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And you know that you can custom build your own PC, right?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And even get a similar Mac Pro computer case?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And configure it to run Mac OS?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: Then why did you buy the Mac Pro?!?!??

Apple user: Cus I reject your reality and substitute my own.

PC user: *facepalm*

I reject your reality and substitute my own. by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian June 20, 2020

substitute albino love 

The action of grabbing a handful of snow and making love to it in order to get the feeling of being with an albino women.

me and my dad were having a snowball fight when suddenly the snow hit my crotch and i felt the beautiful sensation of substitute albino love.

substitute albino love by altairalex February 4, 2015

Substitute arms 

the flabby, wing-like flaps on the bottom part of a woman's upper arms; that every time they wave or write on the board the skin flaps in the air. (most commonly seen in the education field)

Mrs. Clark has HUGE substitute arms. Every time she writes out the Pythagorean theorem on the board , I'm scared they will knock me out in the back row!

Substitute arms by ivie03 April 6, 2017

substitute teachers 

1. Wannabe teachers who fill in when regular teachers are unavailable. During strikes, are called SCABs. Usually lost without lesson plans, and serve more as adult supervision than in teaching capacities. If they attempt to teach, they frequently contradict what the regular teacher has taught. Also known as subs.

2. Prostitutes hired for the purpose of teaching uninitiated kids about the birds and the bees by friends orredneck rents who can't figure out any better way to get the lesson across, or perhaps because they want to watch and learn a thing or three themselves.

That sub we had today was a real substitute teacher.

substitute teachers by FridgeRaider May 23, 2004

slustitute 

Someone who works as a prostitute but still somehow manages to exemplify the characteristics of a true slut.

She's such a slustitute! She works 8 hours a day as a prostitute and then sleeps with at least 3 different guys every night after work.

slustitute by AttiFinch May 25, 2011

Substitute PE teacher

the single most easiest paying job ever

The substitute PE teacher just told everyone to run around or some shit for the whole period.

Substitute PE teacher by intrnashonalsuperstud June 5, 2009

sexstimate 

An estimate of how many times you have to take a particular female out before she sleeps with you.

I went out with Sally last night. I sexstimate two more dates.

I heard you went out with Sally last night. What's the sexstimate?

sexstimate by Hayvoon May 22, 2011