Rosterbating

Being so content with your fantasy football roster that you feel the urge to masturbate to it.

Jake: Hey Jeff, what were you doing in the bathroom alone with your fantasy football roster?

Jeff: Um, nothing...

Jake: ...Were you rosterbating?

Jeff: Maybe. How can you blame me? My quaterbacks are Aaron Rodgers, Phillip Riv---

Jake: Shut up you weird fuck.

by jakedasnake HHHHHHHHHHHHh September 16, 2010

Pastorbating

The use of Reverend Jeremiah Wright to distract from the discussion of real issues in the 2008 presidential election.

Rather than discuss the issues with Senator Obama, Chris Matthews, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly chose to engage in some pastorbating

by wndycty for Frenchiecat April 25, 2008

Plusterbating

Deficating in one's hand and using it as lubrication to pleasure the male member.

I walked in on my father plusterbating, and the thought and physcial smell of it all made me vomit all over the bathroom.

by hoagy chef October 20, 2010

Alabama Poopsterbating

Alabama Hot Pocket, and to Poopsterbate at the same time. You start to Poopsterbate, and when you shit, you separate a girls vagina lips, and shit in it. Then you fuck her with your cum wet dick.

Dude, Amanda and John tried Alabama Poopsterbating last night, she's now in the hospital.

Hey Peter! Wanna try gay Alabama Poopsterbating?

by MoofMoofVan April 18, 2014

Pooperbating

To defecate and masturbate at the same time.

Some people have weird kinky fetishes like feet, stockings, and dildos. I, on the other hand, enjoy a nice extended session of pooperbating.

by GAJ&RS April 2, 2015

Pastorbating

Jacking off to Jesus.

Originated from- PastorBanning. The guy who dies first in Tales of Symphonia.

I couldn't get to sleep last night because I could hear my neighbors pastorbating.

by ilubbbbjesus April 25, 2009

Losterbating

The quick viewing of a back dated episode of the greatest show on international television, LOST. You generally only need to losterbate if you cannot contain your excitement for the next episode of LOST.

"Dude, Thursday is soo long from today!"
"Dude, you gotta engage in some losterbating. Try it with lube, it's way better."

by escapeartist88 January 31, 2008