New Hampshire

It's a state that is not located in England.

FUN FACTS!

State Location: New England. It's the one between Vermont and Maine. It is part of the United States of America. It is NOT in England, or any other part of Europe for that matter. You're thinking of Old Hampshire (or just Hampshire as those zany limey bastards call it).

State Motto: "Live Free or Die." This motto was adopted by General John Stark (cousin of the better known Tony Stark) after viewing the film Live Free or Die Hard, which he described as "inspirational, patriotic, and brickshittingly hardcore" (the General had not seen the other films in the Die Hard series, and upon viewing them he died of blood loss after literally shitting a brick). The motto itself had to be trimmed down from Stark's original draft of "Live Free or Die Hard: The State" due to copyright issues.

Nickname: "The Granite State." Contrary to popular belief, this motto has nothing to do with the production of granite, but refers to the material that the balls of New Hampshire natives are made of.

State Bird: The mosquito. All jokes aside, New Hampshire mosquitos are literally the size of "an average schoolchild's head" and are classified by ornithologists as a member of the aves class. They usually have beards. The 2007 census placed mosquito related deaths (mostly maulings and decapitations) at 42,973 (second only to crossbow related deaths, see state weapon).

State Flower: That blue one from Batman Begins that made people loose their shit. Remember that? Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

State Tree: Marijuana. Don't really need to elaborate upon that one.

State Fruit: Brian Hynes. You know who you are.

State Food: Maple Syrup.

State Weapon: Crossbow. I know this place where you can buy a crossbow for $21. We totally pierced concrete with it, no joke.

State Movie: Live Free or Die Hard: Unrated (see state motto).

State Song: Like a Rock by Bob Seger.

State Color: Dying Tree Orange.

State Adjective: "Quaint."

State Adverb: "Wicked" as in "That maple syrup was wicked awesome!"

State Method of Smoking Tobacco: Corn Cob Pipe.

State Useless Invention: The Segway. That thing was invented in New Hampshire. I rode one once. It was alright I guess but nothing to write home about.

State Tartan: green 56, black 2, green 2, black 12, white 2, black 12, purple 2, black 2, purple 8, red 6, purple 28. To be completely honest, I have no idea what this means, I just found it on Wikipedia.

State Plaything: Slabs of Granite.

State Hobby: Guanthag (a sport involving tossing large slabs of granite).

State Jew: Sarah Silverman.
I saw a guy in New Hampshire fight a swarm of bearded mosquitos with a crossbow. It was wicked awesome.
by M.F. Chill September 07, 2008
Get the New Hampshire mug.

New Hampshire

A state in the northeast of the United States. States that border it include Maine (the colder, more lobstery New Hampshire), Vermont (New Hampshire's evil twin), and Massachusetts (an inferior, square-ish version of New Hampshire). These states are all a part of "New England" and were some of the first states to become colonies.

According to American legend, New Hampshire surfaces from the depths of the ocean every four years at election time, when it is then paid an inordinate amount of attention for two-to-four weeks before sinking back into the murky, mystical land of Libertaria. At the primaries, often as much as sixty percent of New Hampshirites show up to vote.

It is an un-diverse state with its ethnic population growing to as much as -1,000,000% in the past four years. New Hampshire parents tell their children that if they capture an ethnic minority he will grant them three wishes and then disappear.

It is known as "the Granite State," though Vermont actually possesses more granite in its soil than New Hampshire. Some New Hampshire icons include moose, lobster, maple tree leaves, and the late Old Man of the Mountain (a face-like protrusion from rockface locate at "the Notch"; this natural formation was lost to the state shortly after being printed on all New Hampshire license plates and the New Hampshire quarter, when the thing finally fell off the damn mountain).

Much of New Hampshire is agricultural and poorly-populated. Some almost-well-known cities, however, include Manchester (Manch Vegas), Nashua (Nausea), and Concord as the state capitol.

Though New Hampshire is thought of as a backwards-ass hickstate and is known to be fiscally conservative, the state is surprisingly socially liberal. As of January 2008, same-sex civil unions are now permitted. Lesser known than this, the state is actually home to some trailblazing legislature in the areas of mental health and domestic violence.

New Hampshire is a strongly libertarian state and even has a libertarian party. Close to fifty percent of voters are registered independent.

Arguably the most interesting thing about the state to those who move there is a lack of zoning laws. Laconia, NH is a particularly remarkable city where even fastfood chains can own lakefront property. In other parts of the state, one can easily observe mobile homes directly next to mansions.

New Hampshirites have esteem for only one-to-three other states, varying with the occasion and context. These states are Maine (often held in high esteem for its relative northness), Vermont (occasionally held in esteem for its New Hampshirey qualities), and Minnesota (sometimes held in esteem for its epic coldness). Visitors from Massachusetts often receive only disdain from New Hampshire natives, who insist that those from Mass (often called "Massholes") only visit so they can buy New Hampshire's relatively cheap vices (liquor, lottery tickets, tobacco), drive like crap all over New Hampshire's roads, and ski like crap all down New Hampshire's mountains.

New Hampshirites are a proud people whose motto is to "live free or die." With no seatbelt or helmet laws over age eighteen, some make the case that the state motto ought to be "live free AND die."
"Let's get some maple syrup and New Hampshah it up in heah!"
Translation: "Let's get some maple syrup and New Hampshire it up in here!"
by Cyrano de Bergerac January 21, 2008
Get the New Hampshire mug.

New Hampshire

Contrary to popular belief, New Hampshire is not even HALF Hicks and Hillbillies. New Hampshire is beautiful in the Fall, hot in the Summer, snowy in the Winter, and great in the Spring. My Home state, and rated one of the best places to live. Southern New Hampshire is just like any other other suburban/rural area, with small towns. Some beautiful neigborhoods, especially in Windham. 40 minutes to bustling Boston, the pride of living here. Great for escape vacations. Very peaceful in comparison to places like Southern California and the crime-ridden streets of Detroit. The Rebel State; many things are legal here that aren't in other states.
Jon: I live in New Hampshire!
Eric: Damn, you're so lucky!
Jon: I know! Just last night while riding my motorcycle without a helmet I bought fireworks from a convience store. They were cheap 'cause they had NO TAX. Oh, I also bought booze from that same store too, not a packie.
by GameBoy3008 September 14, 2005
Get the New Hampshire mug.

New Hampshire

Ok I dunno who keeps posting that NH sucks but they can't be more wrong. It's a beautiful state that offers beaches, mountains, and Boston all within 45 min. You get the best of all 4 seasons, fall is the best with the gorgeous foliage. We were one of the original colonies and the first to vote in the primaries and people from outside of New England don't even know we exist, nevermind give us credit for anything. We have no sales tax and the only bad thing is that all the Massholes come up to shop here, but it's ok cuz we get their money.
Chill people, lots of weed... snowboardin, skatin, beaches...
by Ashcheeks May 02, 2005
Get the New Hampshire mug.

New Hampshire

The most underrated state in the nation. Short drive to the city, to the shore and to the mountains. Massachusetts winos' savior on Sunday. Massachusetts whinos' savior around Christmas.
I love New Hampshire.
by Brett March 07, 2005
Get the New Hampshire mug.

New Hampshire

A highly underrated state. New Hampshire takes pride in how much everyone either ignores it, or stereotypes it and lives up the immortal hype of being one of the most beautiful states in the country. It's also one of the least diverse states, but that shouldn't discourage anyone from living here.

New Hampshire residents are probably some of the most friendly people that you'll meet in New England. We're also much nicer than the majority of the people from Mass and we also don't drive like complete assholes. (Oops, that must be my NH snobbery speaking. My bad, folks!) And contrary to what most people think, there are things to do in this state. If you don't like shopping in southern New Hampshire, you can always travel up north to Mount Washington and attempt to hike it.

If that doesn't satisfy you, our beaches might. Thousands flock to the seacoast during the summer time until early fall. And if you're still not satisfied, our seasons will whet your appetite for anything aesthetically pleasing. New Hampshire also has some of the best colleges and schools in the country and it doesn't tax its citizens on virtually everything.

The only downside is its lack of extensive innovation and opportunities. New Hampshire likes to believe that it still lives in the 90's, which isn't necessarily a horrible thing either.
I'm leaving New Hampshire in the spring of 2013. I'm going to miss this place!
by robdlovesmeshush November 15, 2012
Get the New Hampshire mug.

New Hampshire

The best state to live in. People are down to earth, normal, and know how to drink beer. With a 45 min drive to boston and Manch Vegas one can never get bored of this senic state. Go to the beach, moutains, and the city all in one day. Add in some fall and some wicked nice summers and you couldnt ask for anything more.
State Moto: Drink beers and fish, Live free or die
by Bri Guy June 02, 2005
Get the New Hampshire mug.