Molestache

Any moustache, beard, sideburns, or any combination of aforementioned types of facial hair grown in such a way, or worn by such a person, as to convey a sense of creepiness; short for 'molester moustache.' Originally coined by
Abraham Finkbeinner in some filthy frathouse basement.

Isaac, you filthy man! With that woodland camo hat, plaid shirt, and tattered jeans, your otherwise respectable facial hair has become a Molestache!!

Look at that creepy guy in that panel van, with the mullet and Molestache.

by Stephen Nazzaro August 29, 2006

molestache

1. The kind of mustache or gotee that guys who refuse to a woman alone at a club or bar have; think that one guy from the backstreet boys, or european "musician" Gunter (similar to a mexistache)

2. the kind of mustache sex-offenders grow in order to seem more normal; think ned flanders or geraldo. in this instance, the upper lip is usually not visable and the stache is usually, but not always, acompanied by a mullet or mull-ette

That dick with the molestache won't stop trying to get me to go home with him. He's gross and smells like mustard.

by sam caplan April 10, 2006

molestache

type of mustache: not quite a pornstache but just as creepy.

looks like: John Mayer trying to grow a Tom Selleck mustache. John Mayer has a molestache.

by skweakrz March 8, 2011

Molestache

Noun: a moustache that transforms a normal man into a man that appears to have child molesting tendencies.

John sure looks like a child molester now that his molestache has filled in.

by Mike Nosty May 5, 2016

Molestache

The type of mustache that someone who is molesty would wear.
The mustache of a molester.
The bigger and dirtier the molestache, the more molesty the molester will be.

"Check out that guy's molestache...he's so molesty!"
"Man...don't go around that guy, his molestache is a dead give away of future molestation."

by Lize87 July 31, 2007

molestache

1. a mustache thinner than one left by milk or kool aid reticent of creepers. 2. often found on the upper lips of hipsters who are on a quest for the truly ironic handlebar mustache but for some reason or another fail at attaining glory. they often make up for this lack of facial handlebars by riding around town on a neon fixed gear bike (with sweet handlebars) 3. sometimes found on men sporting mock turtlenecks. 4. found when boys skinny jeans are too tight and their leg hair sprouts on their upper lip instead.

"hey i heard you were trying to get a job at that local record bike store vegan organic cafe?"
"yeah, i don't think i fit in though...I don't have a molestache."
"but you're a girl..."

by oopseiffelover March 7, 2010

molestache

A mustache that makes you look like you molest children.

Check out that guys molestache! Keep him within 100 feet of that elementary school.

by lolamite February 3, 2010