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Young Calculator

The highest status that a human can earn. A young calculator is highly respected anywhere they go.
That khed is an absolute young calculator
by HitYourShots April 18, 2018
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I need a calculator

An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:

- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction

The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.
Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"
by Fatty Tatterson September 10, 2009
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Calculator

You really got a 36 on your ACT? You're such a fucking calculator
by theurbanpoet69 April 25, 2020
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Wild Beast of Calcutta

A woman from India that loves to get anal while eating curry chicken from a trough.
I wanna date Mrs. Patel over there. I hear she's the Wild Beast of Calcutta
by me and mrs p May 1, 2010
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Crush Calculator

You're having a laugh if you think I'm putting my mobile number into that, mate.
Laughing, I proceeded to fill in the Crush Calculator until asked for my mobile phone number. Panicked, I rushed headlong to my Cookies folder and deleted the contents therein forthwith.
by Pingoir January 2, 2009
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calculated punctuation

The use of various punctuation marks in an attempt to make a statement made via instant message seem more stern or serious. Often used by women when holding conversations online to make one feel ashamed and/or guilty.
The following is a typical use of calculated Punctuation:
Angrychick08: I'm very upset with you, Steven.
Angrychick08: Have you anything to say for Yourself?
GuiltySteven: im sooo sorry il never say another girls name without your permission ever again
Angrychick08: Good boy.
by Cory A. M. April 14, 2008
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black hole of calcutta

The Black Hole of Calcutta was a small dungeon where Indian troops held British prisoners of war after the capture of Fort William on June 20, 1756. According to a disputed account by a survivor, 123 of 146 prisoners died of heat exhaustion in the confined conditions. Source Wikipedia
That bathroom of yours looks like the black hole of Calcutta
by Danada April 17, 2006
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