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Astrology

Fake. No you’re not rude because you’re a Aries or Scorpio or whatever the fuck astrologers say.
I’m sorry baby, I’m just a Gemini so I cheat. Please take me back!

No Kelsey, stop blaming Astrology. The way the stars are lined up on your birthday is no excuse for you being an absolute cunt.

Date: Yeah I love astrology it’s totally 100% accurate.
Guy with brain; Ight Imma head out (leaves date)

Guy: I’m a Scorpio and my daily horoscope said that you have to suck my dick
Naive astrologer girl: Really? Ok!
by Justaguy31 November 30, 2021
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portal astrology

When anxious college applicants believes that any changes in their college admissions portal indicates whether or not they have been accepted or rejected. Commonly discussed about online on college-admissions forums.
"OMG MY PORTAL TEXT SHIFTED ONE PIXEL TO THE LEFT!!!"

"Bro OMG mine didn't. I think you got in!!! I believe in portal astrology"
by udcollege March 30, 2021
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Asstronomer

A person who gazes at the female ass and who observes with detail how the ass moves when walking. An asstronomer also tracks the tail as it passes by.
Matty had to study Uranus before he was considered to be an asstronomer.
by smatty21 March 30, 2010
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Down astronomically

A much worse version of down bad. Some would say it's an expansion to down catastrophic.
Alex : damn bro my Brazzers subscription expired. Now I have to watch free porn.
John : Bro you had a Brazzers subscription? God damn you are down astronomically.
by clapped nigga February 25, 2021
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astronominalogical

Unlike oxymoronical, astronimalogical is a description of thinking, talking, being, or spiriting with deference to the vastness of our multiversal cosmos.
Its astronominalogical to ponder Dark Matter and the swingingly swirling galaxy monkey bars. Keep climbing.
by nadja m February 28, 2020
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Astrology

Astrology is a pseudoscience used to predict and explain peoples lives based on the annual location of space rocks.
Often followed and practiced by idiots who have no understanding of physics and how the other planets do not change the outcome of events.
In many cases, when accused of practicing pseudoscience, the astrologer will likely make some claim about how “you believe in evolution and that the moon impacts the tides, so why shouldn’t I believe in this?” The answer simply being that there is actually scientific evidence to support scientific beliefs, and there’s nothing scientific about astrological bullshit.
Idiot: oh, you’d better not sign that contract today, it’s Mercury retrograde rn
Intellectual: I could not care less about your astrology bullshit
idiot: but, but, it means that things will go wrong and you’ll have bad luck
intellectual: no it doesn’t you uneducated addlepate. Go back to school
by Esrioas July 22, 2018
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Asstronomical

A Gluteus Maximus Size that extends beyond normal scales of measurement into another dimension.
Guy 1: Did you see that ass? She has had like no waist but a 4XL booty.
Guy 2: Yo man that was Asstronomical!
by Lil Woody January 26, 2015
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