A Conserv-absurd is an argument that provides poor reasoning in support of its conclusion. Conserv-absurds differ from other bad arguments in that right-wing people find these psychologically persuasive, and therefore mistakenly believe its conclusion to be true even though it’s false.
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
There they go again trying to blame everything on the “liberal media.” But Conserv-absurds are the real reason the country is going down the toilet!
by ConcealedID July 13, 2009
Get the Conserv-absurdmug. I didn;t even realize I had to shat, and next thing you know I had an absurd turd. It was bigger than a baby, my poo baby!
by Bud E Love May 14, 2003
Get the absurd turdmug. Plays that veer away from the traditional convevtions of characterization, setting, and plot. Often referred to as modernist literature.
by some punk kid May 1, 2005
Get the theater of the absurdmug. A hand gesture in which one hooks both thumbs together and flaps their fingers like a bird's wings. Like its cousins awkward turtle and tmi turtkey, absurd bird is meant to show just how absurd a situation is. The more absurd the situation, the higher absurd bird flies.
Twilight Fan: Have you read Breaking Dawn yet?!
Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.
Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.
by Anonymous3827264832 September 29, 2008
Get the Absurd Birdmug. .9.I Will Drift Around Her Curves, I Will See Her Soon, Say She Wants To Know My Name, I Thought She Knew The Truth Because Being Alone In the Dark Is The Sunflower Deed For The Absurd.9.
.9.I Will Drift Around Her Curves, I Will See Her Soon, Say She Wants To Know My Name, I Thought She Knew The Truth Because Being Alone In the Dark Is The Sunflower Deed For The Absurd.9.
by .6.9.7.6.ArimorylulA.8.3.0.5. August 12, 2025
Get the .9.I Will Drift Around Her Curves, I Will See Her Soon, Say She Wants To Know My Name, I Thought She Knew The Truth Because Being Alone In the Dark Is The Sunflower Deed For The Absurd.9.mug. by Jahne. September 29, 2025
Get the absurd and no remorsemug. "absurd" with a capital A, the term Camus uses for when our human need for meaning meets the silent universe that's like, ‘new phone, who dis?’
by anonymous March 28, 2024
Get the Absurdmug.