wiper

Unit of measure of mess in an infant's diaper, described by the number of diaper wipes needed to clean the baby's bottom, e.g. one-wiper, two-wiper, three-wiper, etc. Typically used by new parents. (With experience, parents become more efficient at cleaning bottoms and use fewer wipes.)

Is your son eating well?
I think so, he had a ten-wiper this morning when we changed him.

by Ceanothus March 7, 2004

wiper

PG rated word for person who is an asswipe.

Harry Reid's public shit for brains lies make him a real wiper.

by concerned2 November 12, 2007

wiper

A person who cannot do anything for themselves, including whiping their own butt.

We have a wiper at the counter that needs assistance.

by Meredith N. January 28, 2008

Jizz Wiper

One whose job it is to squeegee the cum streaks off the glass at a peepshow.

Glenn's job as a summer student was being a Jizz Wiper for $7.50 an hour.

by will bitten October 8, 2016

jism wiper

A person who performs the menial task of cleaning up semen from a booth in a hardcore sex club or strip venue.

see jizz mopper.

Amanda: "What did you say your dad does again?"
Doug Hardy: "He's a jism wiper at Club X in the city."
Amanda: *nods* "That's kinda cool."

by poja August 11, 2004

wiper-tempo

the way windshield wipers act like metronomes and can dangerously affect the speed at which people drive in the rain – i.e., increasing rainfall = increasing wiper speed = increasing vehicle speed.

There’d be way fewer accidents in the rain, if they’d reinvent windshield wipers, eliminating wiper-tempo.

by ΔиłĦ☼иצ ߀₡ʞ March 17, 2014

kidney-wiper

The male sexual organ.

When encouraged to the necessary length, the aforementioned organ can be used for wiping the kidneys of any game bird*, preferably up the jacksie.

*Please note: game bird means a girl who is up for it, not a pheasant or moorhen.

'Hey darling, fancy sitting on my kidney-wiper?'

'I wouldn't mind wiping her kidneys!'

by Arthur Damage April 1, 2007