The Two Pump Rule

The Two Pump Rule has been created in honor of all those christians who feel guilty about having sex even if the guy just put his penis in once and then they felt bad and stopped. Do not worry my fellow christians, you did not have sex because a penis must be inserted into the vagina two times to have had sex. The head of the penis must totally be inside to count as a pump. If she is a virgin and you give only two pumps but break the hymen then well done, you have pooped her cherry without having sex with her.

Example 1:
Sally: I'm pregnant with your baby
John: Bitch, no your not
Sally: Your the only one I have has sex with
John: We didn't have sex, we didn't have sex because I got mines within two pumps
Sally: What?
John: Yeah bitch, "The Two Pump Rule", now get the fuck out my house cause I'm not the father.

Example 2:
Jack: Did you fuck my Wife!!!!!!
Matt: No
Matt: (thinking to himself)- I did not fuck her because I jacked off in the bathroom until I was almost about to cum and then went onto the bed and put it in her and ejaculated on the second pump...therefore I did not fuck her....thanks to The Two Pump Rule

by not a father July 18, 2010

Two Pump Trump

Someone who comes in strong politically and finishes weak.

We know he's eager to get in but hope it's more satisfying than a Two Pump Trump.

- Moped Dave

by Moped Dave May 15, 2016

TWO PUMP JUMP

A quickie that isn't meant to be a quickie. when your guy is premature in the sack. usually used with negative connotations.

"So how was last night?"

"dinner was good, movie was ok, then we went back to his place"

"and...?"

"well it was a two pump jump, so i was home by curfew"

"boo"

by Sloan NC May 27, 2008

two pump

when an attractive girl is very hot, but not quite a one pump, so hot, that if you were to grasp ones penis firmly, one could only hold their load for two full strokes, or 'pumps'.

part of a rating system, one pump being the most dime babe you'll ever find, and two pump being next up, one pump being near perfect, and two pump still being VERY attractive, only with a few imperfections

not to be confused with no pump or one pump

Guy 1 - 'yo man, check out that two pump by the cash'
Guy 2 - 'holy hotness! good find!'

by millarke March 15, 2011

two pump cum dump

When there's been a lot foreplay and it only takes two pumps of a penis to get them to cum

I was with my date last night and it ended with a two pump cum dump

by Cake.is.my.otp August 19, 2017

Number two-pump-chump

A two-pump-chump who looses his load almost immediately when he fucks a girl's tight asshole.

See Also: Two-pump-chump

You're a number two pump chump John. I know this 'cause you reek of asshole and disappointment.

I let him do me in the ass for the first time and it turns out the fucker is a number two-pump-chump!

by Julie is Queen March 14, 2008

Two pump chump

Any douche who thinks he's got skillz, only to dump his stuff two pumps into it...

"Man, Ashley and I were gettin' it on, she stripped her shirt off, and I dumped my load in my drawers...."

by Chumper December 29, 2003