father ted

a great series

every episode ever made

by dave August 15, 2003

Chicago Ted

A zombie-slaying legend passed down via graffiti in saferooms during a zombie apocalypse.

No zombie is safe from Chicago Ted.

by Tunod March 31, 2009

Ted talk

A conference, a lecture. Mostly used when no one asks anything, but you randomly start talking. You can be serious or faking seriousness for humor, it is used at the end of the last sentence to make the speech seem less serious.

I am more maniac than you think. I have 3 big pillows with 3 different functions that are totally not related to their original function and I can't sleep without them. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

by A kid from yesterday March 19, 2019

Ted time

Masturbation, self pleasure, rubbing one out, jacking off, polishing the mayonnaise canon, beating off, shooting the love gun, spank the monkey, ext...

I was getting turned on watching Miles shower in the locker room so I had to jump in a stall for some Ted time.

by Ruta Belmont September 23, 2011

iron ted

In reference to the final boss of Metroid: Zero Mission. Aka Meta-Ridley.

Iron Ted on a 15% run is impossible! Wish I had gotten the screw attack...

by Super Mew March 6, 2004

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

Phrase used after you say something (generally a longer story) and no one responds, similar to how a ted talk works.

You: *tells a long story about how you dropped your enchilada*
group chat: *doesnt respond”
You: Thank you for coming to my ted talk

by jamesqu August 2, 2018

Ted Cruz

A Ted Cruz is when you run away to Cancun instead of solving the actual problem.

Damn, she isn't in a good mood today. I think I'll pull a Ted Cruz on her instead of solving the problem.

by Amira :) April 5, 2021