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Speech Impediment

A condition that some people have that results in them pronouncing words incorrectly. In addition, others will laugh at them cause it is REALLY REALLY funny.
Bill: Hey, do you have any CHI-WEE-OHS?
Cale: Naw bitch, but I have some cheerios. ole speech impediment havin ass.
by Cale Morgan October 16, 2006
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The IMPEDE Continuum

A theory which states that a universe is created from sheer awesomeness and the awesomeness which creates a universe radiates from someone with sheer awesomeness. The awesomeness obstructs any other force which can potentially create life or the like - Hence, it is called the "IMPEDE Continuum". (FYI, if you don't know, Impede means to obstruct.) In other words, awesomeness created the universe and everything else was created by China. Awesome right?
Person 1: Guess what?
Person 2: What?
Person 1: Totally did something awesome.
Person 2: And that was...?
Person 1: I created this theory about how awesomeness can create a universe. I called it "The IMPEDE Continuum"

<Explains The IMPEDE Continuum>

Person 1: Awesome right?
Person 2: Awesome....

<awkward silence>

Person 2: I wonder what kind of universe just got created...
by Ren Atarashi March 13, 2010
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Impede

Doing a backflip in a dank af invironment while stoned.
"OMG I just did the dank MLG impede!"
by Unit2465 August 3, 2015
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impeduglia

get yourself an impeduglia
by *insert real name* September 27, 2017
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Sergeant Speech Impediment

Any person or group of people found to be issuing non-sensical orders involving rugby posts and Ginger #3. Not to be confused with a bellend.
by Hukster November 6, 2003
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impediment

That idiot Redditor who uses UD as a source
That /r/impediment guy sure is dumb for using UD as a source
by 213423rsdvfsdfsa February 16, 2018
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atmospheric impedance

Condescending geek speak for suggesting that your power cord is unplugged. Used to make people with social lives to feel as though they've been bested by a being whose diet consists primarily of Cheetos and Mountain Dew.
User: My computer won't turn on.

IT Guy: Perhaps it's a PEBKAC error, or your AC cable may be experiencing atmospheric impedance.

User: Atmos...? Ooooh! Heh, very clever. I'll have to share that one with my hot girlfriend.

IT Guy: I'm so lonely.
by phishtails April 29, 2010
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