Hardwood Floors

Another term for the male penis (erect), particularly when contrasted with the term "carpet" or "tile floors"(referring to the female genitalia).

"I prefer hardwood floors to carpet!"(meaning the speaker prefers men instead of women)

by Angel-eek January 13, 2009

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Lance Hardwood

Mentioned in the television series How I Met Your Mother by Ted. Lance Hardwood is an everyday name that parents may choose to abandon their baby to an orphanage and leave a note saying that their name is Lance Hardwood, therefore ruining said child's life for ever and ever. This has been done time and time again with other names such as; Mike Clitoris, Hugh Jass, Mike Hock, Yurik Hunt. Spelling may vary. "On an completely unrelated note, all names mentioned above are often used by pornstar."

"Hey man did you see Lance Hardwood last night?"
"The pornstar???"
"Naw man, Lance Hardwood the reported."

by Jacques Lolz January 11, 2010

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Dick hardwood

A man with a dick that is hard like wood so they're name is dick hardwood and very big dick and dick hardwood is hot

My name is dick hardwood

by Dick hardwood February 13, 2022

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The Hardwood (Floor)

Bald pussy, shaved twat

Many chicks today have the Hardwood (Floor) below the belt.

by MOCO & P-Phat March 26, 2012

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Oklahoma Hardwood Floor

when a group of men line there boners up opposite eachother so that they interlock like a hardwood floor.

One side will go balls, head, balls, head; while the other side would be reversed.

After this a woman will walk upon the boners as to incite arousal.

Polishing the floor would be using the cum or lube to slicken up the floor before the woman's procession across.

Bernice is such a desparate slut. She asked me, Mr. Legs, Thumper, and Swamp Tiger to come over and make an Oklahoma Hardwood Floor, but only Swamp Tiger went.

by Goatse I January 24, 2010

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