To truly describe a douche would be relatively impossible. But here are some of the tell-tale signs that let you know if you, or someone you know maybe be suffering from being a douche:
-Wears american eagle/lacoste shirts with collar permanently popped
-Walks with a little too much of a
gangster bounce in his step(note that this rule does not apply if douche in question is
black. being dark
brown doesn't keep you exempt from this rule)
-Talks like they have an expanse of knowledge of the world when it is in fact the opposite
-Talks obnoxiously and douche-tastically loud so that others have no option but to overhear they're ridiculously trivial conversations
-Pretending to be
black, under any circumstances, constitutes automatic doucheness
-Punch their friends on the shoulder soft enough not to hurt, but
hard enough to think they actually have some dominance in their circle of friends
-Wear the christian cross on a necklace when their not religious because they want to be like one of those religious badasses in the action movies(e.g. the
sniper in Saving Private
Ryan. only but he was actually religious)
-Thinking their the fucking bees knees when in
reality they're just a DOUCHE!!!
*brown man walks in with popped collar and overly large
bounce in his step*
Observer 1: Check out the height on that collar. A true display of
douchebaggery
Observer 2: And the
bounce puts the icing on his douchebag cake.
Observer 3: I bet he thinks he's the fucking bees knees...
