clagnuts

small spherical lumps of matted faeces and arse hair, sometimes dangling on s single strand from the anus.

sheesh, just got back from having a particularly nasty "number two", gonna have clagnuts for sure.

by woodpidgeon September 19, 2003

clag

when arse hair gets matted together with shit when you don't wipe your bottom properly.

i had to soak the clag in the bath before i could pull it off
(it was still painful though)

by busmas April 22, 2003

clag

Clag can also refer to any smoke or byproduct of a large diesel engine's Starting or pulling heavy loads as seen with trains and semi's

During Locomotive starts, there's excessive clag

by Northstar2007 November 6, 2007

Clag knot

Feces which dries and hardens on the hair surrounding the anus. This sometimes forms dreadlock-like clusters which in servere cases can interfere with normal bowel action.

"Your Majesty, the Royal Physician has brought warm water and unguents to soften Your Majesties clag knots" Extract from the "Life of the Prince of Wales"

by Tonybeak October 1, 2005

clag nuts

Those little bits of desicated poo that cling to the hairs around the bum hole after a lack lustre wiping.

Hey Barri, how was your date last night?
Well we had a great meal, the movie was top, we went back to mine and he was just going down on me when he spotted some clag nuts. How I wish I'd used the bidet!

by MisterE July 16, 2008

Clagnuts

Small lumps of shit that stick to your arse pubes.

I nearly tore myself a new one trying to get those clagnuts off my arse

by sNoWy1998 July 23, 2008

Clag-Gone

First seen in Viz magazine, Clag-Gone is the trade name of a bicycle-based device for removing tagnuts, cling-ons, dangleberries and winnits. It was hailed as "a unique breakthrough in ringpiece technology".

I've never been scared to moon since I got my Clag-Gone.

by Roopy December 6, 2006