my ass handed to me

It Means Geeting Beated Very Hard

Joe : I'll Beat the hell out of those assholes but if I do I'll get my ass handed to me

by Shady99 March 26, 2014

Ass to Hand

A sexual act where a man goes straight from wiping his ass to masturbating

I was so horny while I was taking a shit once, I couldn't wait so I just did ass to hand.

by steelrod43 July 02, 2011

ass to hand distance

the distance from between your ass and hand while wiping.

usually in the form of TP (toilet paper)

depending on your comfort level it can be any where from 1 to 16 sheets.

it may also depend on how stinky the dump was.

my ass to hand distance is about 6 sheets, i dont like to have my hand smell like ass

Joe's ass to hand distance is a disturbing 2 sheets. it makes me shutter to think how he can deal with the closness of his hand to his ass

by Con-man May 28, 2007

ass ball hand

When a man scratches his ass then his balls and puts his hand on a womans face.

I just ass ball handed your mom!

by Thecowsaysmoo80 July 26, 2009

one hand ass

" one hand ass" is a term used to gauge the size of a women's ass that is ripe for fucking. to create your own gauge take your right hand then make a fist then spread your thumb and little finger as far apart as possible. What ever women's ass width falls close to the gauge is worth being sexy with. The women are then known as "one handers"

How to use in conversation
1) Russ " I fucked this women last night" , Phil " was she a one-hander ?" , Russ " No, I knew I shouldn't of fucked her fat ass"

2) Russ " look at her ass she's got a one-hander", Phil " Fuck me your right, lets stalk her"
3) Phil " I've got a new girlfriend with a one hand ass", Russ " expose yourself, force your intentions upon her and impregnate her "

by llessur71 December 17, 2015

jazz hands ass

A way of describing a fatty ass that jiggles when a person walks.

Haha look at that jazz hands ass!

by Robin Everett August 10, 2006

Rip off your ass and hand it to you

To beat someone so bad that their ass becomes a jiggling mass of gel hanging off their spine, allowing you to rip it off and place it in their hands as they collapse into a heap of excruciating pain. After the beaten person finishes convulsing, you place their severed posterior next to their lips so that it looks like they are kissing their own ass while posting hilarious videos to social media.

You disrespect me and I'll rip off your ass and hand it to you!!!

by IGKYA53 October 02, 2020