If a man owns goat,
He must provide goat,
to any and all of his friends, of whom are tripping balls and want to play with said fucking goat with in 15mins or be hanged by the neck till dead!!!!
He must provide goat,
to any and all of his friends, of whom are tripping balls and want to play with said fucking goat with in 15mins or be hanged by the neck till dead!!!!
by King mammal August 31, 2018
Get the goat's law mug.1. A list of commandments brought down from the mountain by comedian Adam Carolla governing correct procedure in the preparation and presentation of all known edibles. He didn't speak to God. No, he had a bad omelette at a Big Bear Lake Ski Resort once. Cheese just draped over the cooked omelette, not even cheddar like he ordered, but Swiss. What is he an animal? He was certainly animalistic in his rage, with nearby large-breasted patrons trying to assure him that cheddar is sometimes white like Swiss cheese. Alas, he was not calmed. But rather than complete his transformation into a feral beast, one last "Hail Mary" neuron fired in his brain that reminded him of what it was to be human. Laws. A code to prevent civilization from collapsing. His revelation to apply rules, standards, and norms to food preparation/presentation changed the fabric of our society from that day forward. Never again would anyone have to endure such inhumane conditions in their culinary experience. Hero.
2. Actor Jude Law's fat, balding, less successful dimwit of a brother. (Coined by Adam Carolla on September 25, 2018 on "The Adam Carolla Show")
2. Actor Jude Law's fat, balding, less successful dimwit of a brother. (Coined by Adam Carolla on September 25, 2018 on "The Adam Carolla Show")
STEWARDESS:
Welcome back to first class of High-Falutin Air, Mr. Carolla. When we get up in the air in about 45 minutes, I'll gladly serve you alcohol for the 3 minutes before we begin our descent. We’ll also be serving meals in that window. Since you're in seat 1A, there's a good chance you'll get some.
ADAM CAROLLA:
Oh yeah? What've you got? Don't tell me it's that pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza. I've blown hobos that sleep on my studio stoop that taste better.
S:
Oh no, Mr. Carolla, we stopped serving that when our surveys indicated customers found it to taste like...well...like you said, "the ejaculate of an AIDS-ridden Homeless man." Now we're serving lentil chili and...
A.C.:
Don't bother. I'll drink my lunch. Until Food Law is enforced in American airspace.
S:
Food Law? Wasn't he in "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"?
A.C.:
No, that's his younger, more attractive brother. Food Law was in "The Untalented Mr. Shitley" and "I Fart Fuckabees."
S:
Oh, I see. Anyway, want me to give you your usual road head in the John when we get in the air? After I give you your drink, of course. I know you're a raging alcoholic.
JERRY SEINFELD(row behind)
Why do they call it road head, we're gonna be 35,000 feet in the air?
A.C.:
Pipe down Jerry...unless you wanna buy my Porsche 935. I'm really taking a bath on that one. Turns out no one remembers who the hell Paul Newman is.
S:
Oh you took a bath? Maybe my mouth won't taste like a bum's buttermilk for 3 days.
Welcome back to first class of High-Falutin Air, Mr. Carolla. When we get up in the air in about 45 minutes, I'll gladly serve you alcohol for the 3 minutes before we begin our descent. We’ll also be serving meals in that window. Since you're in seat 1A, there's a good chance you'll get some.
ADAM CAROLLA:
Oh yeah? What've you got? Don't tell me it's that pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza. I've blown hobos that sleep on my studio stoop that taste better.
S:
Oh no, Mr. Carolla, we stopped serving that when our surveys indicated customers found it to taste like...well...like you said, "the ejaculate of an AIDS-ridden Homeless man." Now we're serving lentil chili and...
A.C.:
Don't bother. I'll drink my lunch. Until Food Law is enforced in American airspace.
S:
Food Law? Wasn't he in "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"?
A.C.:
No, that's his younger, more attractive brother. Food Law was in "The Untalented Mr. Shitley" and "I Fart Fuckabees."
S:
Oh, I see. Anyway, want me to give you your usual road head in the John when we get in the air? After I give you your drink, of course. I know you're a raging alcoholic.
JERRY SEINFELD(row behind)
Why do they call it road head, we're gonna be 35,000 feet in the air?
A.C.:
Pipe down Jerry...unless you wanna buy my Porsche 935. I'm really taking a bath on that one. Turns out no one remembers who the hell Paul Newman is.
S:
Oh you took a bath? Maybe my mouth won't taste like a bum's buttermilk for 3 days.
by griffin_t_a September 25, 2018
Get the Food Law mug.Any sufficiently tweet-worthy fuckup is impossible to differentiate from shitty viral marketing campaign
by Tegularius00 September 27, 2018
Get the Plumdog's Law mug.A large highball glass with one
Large ice cube and at least four fingers of your favorite liquor, usually consumed in multiples of 2.-
Large ice cube and at least four fingers of your favorite liquor, usually consumed in multiples of 2.-
Mother in Law Cocktail: “Got to grab a handle of vodka so I can have a couple
Mother in-laws when I get home so I can have dinner with
My mother in law who lives in my
Basement”
Mother in-laws when I get home so I can have dinner with
My mother in law who lives in my
Basement”
by schnock123 October 3, 2018
Get the Mother in Law Cocktail mug.by Mr. Memeologist October 6, 2018
Get the law of findicus mug.when you a white boy from Nowhere, Kansas, but you wife a fine brown girl who actually has a culture and now you’re basically brown
white boy 1: yeah I’m African
white boy 2: bru you’re from Topeka
1: yeah my dude but my girl Passion from Nairobi
2: wuttttt
1: y’know, it’s my culture-in-law yo
2: wtf, Adam
white boy 2: bru you’re from Topeka
1: yeah my dude but my girl Passion from Nairobi
2: wuttttt
1: y’know, it’s my culture-in-law yo
2: wtf, Adam
by thegrbgreceptacle October 9, 2018
Get the culture-in-law mug.A person who thinks they know everything about law when really they don't, or they know a bit but they are mislead.
Usually found in YouTube comment sections, these people are generally defensive and not likely to change their interpretation of a scenario.
These people are also likely to jump into scenarios, during or after, without using context.
Usually found in YouTube comment sections, these people are generally defensive and not likely to change their interpretation of a scenario.
These people are also likely to jump into scenarios, during or after, without using context.
Jesus, these law-tards are everywhere.
by Code_Maker May 29, 2018
Get the Law-Tard mug.