SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi by Catamount June 21, 2008

luscious banana 

When a girl is at the grocery store to buy bananas and out of nowhere a guy comes and shoves the banana into her vagina

I was in the store yesterday and I got the best luscious banana from the janitor.

luscious banana by Halfway43 April 7, 2015

Gucci Banana

A cool hat

Oj gang cringe

Milk gang thicc

Boner: "Ey look at my cool hat."
Oj gang: "Noo you cant just put a banana on yo....."
Boner: "Haha gucci banana go brrrrrr."

Gucci Banana by Foolish Orang June 17, 2020

dancing banana

Noun. Sex act. Involving most often a green, unripened (and thusly firm) banana, preferrably microwaved to a warm temperature then gently inserted into a man's anus where it may pleasurably rub against the prostate. After a while, the banana handler begins battering the recipient, making the phallus appear to be a dancing banana.

Hooker: "Sure, sweety, just name a sex act that can happen between two people, and I've done it"

John: "Ever done a dancing banana?"

Hooker: "Only once before, ... back when I was in love. I swore I'd never do it again."


Frat bag: "yeah, brah, that slut got so drunk last night, I convinced her to give me a dancing banana!'

his Brah: "DAYUM DB, that was my sister!"

dancing banana by banana dancer February 23, 2009

rohypnol banana 

Weapon of choice for the single male with no friends. Although rohypnol bananas are currently illegal the hangover is reasonably pleasant.

When you see the colours you're there chick, innit.

rohypnol banana by Prank Monkey December 17, 2004

Big Banana 

Also Top Banana, the one in charge, best/coolest person around.

She's the top banana

Big Banana by Joe Bliney September 11, 2003

Bobby Banana 

a skateboarding banana youngster with red sneakers who loves dancing and wears sunglasses, loves to cook (with bananas, of course) has an online biography, appears in TV and radio commercials and will correspond by e-mail. Dole Mascot.

Bobby Banana Shuffle
Hey Kids! It’s me Bobby Banana
And I have a big surprise for you
It’s a new dance called the Dole Banana Shuffle
And this is all you have to do! Come on!

Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!
Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!

First thing you got to do is clap your hands
Then everybody stamp your feet
Just let the music take you 1-2-3-4
And think of somethin’ sweet – That’s me!

Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!

Do do do do it
There’s nothin’ to it
Do do do do the Dole
Banana Shuffle!

Come on now don’t be shy
The Dole Shuffle’s worth a try
So everybody on your feet
Let’s go now
Clap your hands,
Stamp your feet
Sing along – sing along with me

©2001 Dole Food Company, Inc.

Bobby Banana by Ch!p July 29, 2008