Hand-To-Gland Combat

A vigorous masturbating session.

by Karlito April 20, 2003

shit in a hand bag

"Shit in a hand bag" is an expression used when something unexpected happens.
Much like finding a turd inside of a pocketbook this event is of a great surprise to you.

"Shit in a hand bag! I've lost my keys again!!! Shit in a hand bag!"

by Haroldhrmph June 25, 2014

shake hands with Wally

to urinate

Yo bro, keep your eye on my shit, I gotta go shake hands with Wally.

by OriginalDoanBrother May 17, 2011

second-hand deuce

When you have to sit and shit on a still-warm toilet seat just used by another man's hairy ass.

I hated to do it, but I had to shit so bad, I had to experience a second-hand deuce! Adn there was still a hair on the seat!

by thamongrel May 11, 2008

Right Hand Mike

A task that takes 30 seconds to complete; usually pleasureful.

Homie#1: Hey bro, wanna Pasz?
Homie#2: Sorry bro i can't, i'm performing a right hand mike.
Homie#1: Yoyo, sorry bruh, you can fosho do that and I guess I will come back in 30 seconds!
Homie#2: Yessir! Come back to see the afterman of my right hand mike!
Homie#1: Aight, can't wait my main man!!

by Dont.Spill.the.Kool.aid December 4, 2019

bass player hands

This phrase is synonymous with "big hands" or "large hands". It just means you have big hands and/or long fingers (which are needed to reach around and play a bass well).
If someone tells you that you have bass player hands it means that either 1:They are just observant and noticed your big hands
or
2:They want your fingers inside them, and they're letting you know that they are thinking about your hands.

Girl-*Notices you have large hands*
Girl-"Ooh you have bass player hands."
Boy-"Yeah they're really good for reaching far into small spaces."

by Lets-SailAway December 24, 2017

Jazz Hands bro

The act of sarcastically doing jazz hands to show your lack of excitement about something. Usually used when someone is trying to show off about something that really isn't that sweet.

Guy 1: I made out with a Brazilian girl on the dance floor last night
Guy 2: waving jazz hands That's sick bro

Guy 1: I just got a brand new pair of New Balances!
Guy 2: Jazz hands bro

by MattyMids July 24, 2012