human

A type of "species" that proclaims themselves as the smartest beings in the universe, even though they're the dumbest. Please note that all humans are dumb and stupid.

alien: Do you know where a human's brain is?
cyclops: Where?
alien: Nowhere 😂

human by It's Me, DISFLY September 26, 2023

human

/ˈhju.mən/, ˈçju.mən, -mn̩
Also known as homo sapiens, humans are a species of primate who have evolved for 200 thousand years yet still kill each other for practically no reason at all.

Guy 1: Humans are a disgrace to this planet.
Guy 2: real

human by nicthenerd June 9, 2024

Human soil

A fancy Italian man's term for poop

Can you exuse me William, I have to go to the lavatory to make some human soil

Human soil by Cosmic7600 May 26, 2018

Human tube of toothpaste 

When a person is ran over by a tank from the feet to the head, forcing the blood to explode out of the head like a tube of toothpaste.

I can wait to watch Al-farquad be turned into a human tube of toothpaste

Human tube of toothpaste by Randomdude3328 January 5, 2022

Human Suitcases

When a midget on roller skates, wears all your clothing and then you pull them through an airport.

Seth: Do you have any tips, any tips at all for a simple romantic, non psychotic valentine's day?
Stefon: If you want a great valentine's day you don't even need to leave the house. Just give the person you love a romantic valentines gift.
Seth: You mean like a box of chocolates?
Stefon: No. Like human suitcases.

Human Suitcases by JMulan March 1, 2011

Human Kite 

Its that thing when you tie a string to a midget in a windbreaker and then run through a field.

Fly a human kite in Central Park with your mom!

Human Kite by lithuanianminion June 2, 2011

human pet guy

notorious on tumblr for a lengthy screed turned copypasta detailing why he believed he should be able to own a human pet. he has called himself "the cybersmith" since approximately 2014 and despite the belief of many that he may be a "bit", a three-hour interview proved his validity as a self-proclaimed "libertarian monarchist." in recent years he has become a reply guy to twitter user SAMOYEDCORE and retweets diaper- and other fetish-related pornography. he is a fan of the fallout series, fallout 4 being his favourite and perhaps what he bases some or most of his politics off of. he also has an account on reddit where he posts fallout-related meta-analysis, which he would no doubt prefer to be known for.

a did you hear that human pet guy thinks ancient romans all lived in tiny colosseums?
b i heard that human pet guy wanted to be pegged by young maggie thatcher.

human pet guy by space/qwn March 16, 2021