james river high school is your local poor kids hangout, located in the shit-pits of botetourt county,
virginia. this hellhole we call home is the best (and only) 2A-and-slowly-dwindling-down-to-1A public school (as a matter of fact it's the only school) you'll find within about a hundred-mile-radius.
It's also the number one place to turn to if you're looking for any of the following:
a.
pot
b. potheads
c. poor kids
d. eons-old teachers
e. various other drugs besides
pot
f. a lousy football team
g. lousy bleachers
h. shitty school spirit
i. great pep club spirit?
j. furries
k. roaches
l. old cheesesticks behind the auxiliary gym bleachers
m. roughly two albinos
n. more roaches
o. ants
p. other, more bizzare things
q. the list could go on forever really
Some fun facts about the place:
1. Half of the seniors are about 8 feet tall
2. Every single male in the building can be found clad in a
unicorn onesie on Pajama Day
3. There's a couple of teachers and some janitor dude who tell all the freshmen every year that there's a James River ghost
4. There is no ghost
5. Everyone hates the
2021-
2022 freshman class
6. various, extremely strange items can be found in the many bathrooms around the school
7. if you ever meet
JJ Halstead ask him about the piss bandit it's worth it
(if y'all don't accept this as a definition i swear i
will sick
jerry on you)
