Twilight muffins are these really nasty muffins the muffinman bakes. They were originally designed to poison kings or queens whenever the plebians became upset. Now they are just used to make people think stalking is a form of admiration.
by Hameln January 19, 2009
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A product or group that is inplausible in every form but gains media success through Female veiwers of age variety 13-15 because:
a.The male protaganists/leaders have a hairstyle that is 99% hairspray.
b.The male protaganist/leader rarely wears any upper clothing.
c.The male protaganist(s)/leader is in musical activity that includes recycled song premises and electric guitars.
This can also be reffered to as TMS.
A product or group that is inplausible in every form but gains media success through Female veiwers of age variety 13-15 because:
a.The male protaganists/leaders have a hairstyle that is 99% hairspray.
b.The male protaganist/leader rarely wears any upper clothing.
c.The male protaganist(s)/leader is in musical activity that includes recycled song premises and electric guitars.
This can also be reffered to as TMS.
Twilight Movie Syndrome has given talentless faggots voice editing devices and fame through fangirl fucktards who get pissed off if you do not refer to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus as gods.
by SantaChrist January 26, 2010
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A horrible novel written by the untalented Stephenie Meyer. This book has absolutely no character development whatsoever. It glorifies unhealthy obsession. Meyer has her main character, the dreary, cliched, miserable Bella Swan, choose between necrophilia and bestiality throughout the series.
The books have overused and exhausted ideas, and there is no apparent reason of why anyone should love this boring teenage girl. The book has the worst grammar I've ever seen published. "Handsomest" is not a word Ms. Meyer. Perhaps you should invest in a new editor, or just stay away from writing all together. As much as you fantasize, you will not marry a vampire just because you based Bella off of your own appearance.
Twilight is like a bad fanfiction. No teenager describes themselves as "ivory skinned". There is no reason to read this book. It is not the romance of the decade. It is an awful book. There are no excuses in which it is reasonable to read this book, unless you are 10 years old and need to get over a fear of vampires, because the vampires in this book sparkle in the sunlight. How intimidating.
The books have overused and exhausted ideas, and there is no apparent reason of why anyone should love this boring teenage girl. The book has the worst grammar I've ever seen published. "Handsomest" is not a word Ms. Meyer. Perhaps you should invest in a new editor, or just stay away from writing all together. As much as you fantasize, you will not marry a vampire just because you based Bella off of your own appearance.
Twilight is like a bad fanfiction. No teenager describes themselves as "ivory skinned". There is no reason to read this book. It is not the romance of the decade. It is an awful book. There are no excuses in which it is reasonable to read this book, unless you are 10 years old and need to get over a fear of vampires, because the vampires in this book sparkle in the sunlight. How intimidating.
by hcan123 October 4, 2010
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Get the twilight mug.Twi-light Twahy Crap
-Noun
1. A Disney Hannah Montana Monstrosity made solely for 13 year old girls with no ambition in life.
2. A series of books that will take your breath away and fill it with the stench of a 1/2 eaten camels torso covered in feces.
3. Cartoon vampires that would lose in a fight against baby bunnies and duckies.
4. Robert Pattinson whose acting resembles a retarded giraffe with PMS.
5. Instead of blood, the movie sucks 122 min of your life. The next day you wake up and realize you've been rapped in the mind.
-Noun
1. A Disney Hannah Montana Monstrosity made solely for 13 year old girls with no ambition in life.
2. A series of books that will take your breath away and fill it with the stench of a 1/2 eaten camels torso covered in feces.
3. Cartoon vampires that would lose in a fight against baby bunnies and duckies.
4. Robert Pattinson whose acting resembles a retarded giraffe with PMS.
5. Instead of blood, the movie sucks 122 min of your life. The next day you wake up and realize you've been rapped in the mind.
by Staticash April 23, 2009
Get the Twilight The Movie mug.A person, usually a teenage boy, who's social life, and possibly other aspects of his life have been destroyed by the movie "Twilight".
This has happened because the friends-that-are-girls of this man have become completely addicted to everything and anything that has to do with the movie "Twilight". These friends may wear articles of black or dark blue clothing that say completely stupid phrases like, "Your scent is like a drug to me", "I'd never given much thought to how I would die... But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go", or, "You are my life now". The Twilight Victim has no idea what significance these phrases have, and most Twilight Victims haven't even seen the movie. They learn to hate the parts of the movie that the girls mention most. The girls only mention certain parts to the Twilight Victim, the parts that the girl knows will piss off the guy the most.
The friends are also characterized by:
1) Comparing the way people look to Edward Cullen and Isabella Who-Gives-A-Shit
2) Threatening to "Cut you up and burn you", if you don't "Get in the sunlight and sparkle"
3) Getting mad at ME for wearing sexy sunglasses, then yelling at me that I need to take them off and give them back to Edward Cullen
4) Having an obsession with red apples
5) Dropping red apples on their foot and trying to make it pop back into their hand
6) For some reason, they like really old rusty beat-up red pickup trucks
7) Love cloudy/rainy days
8) Like to bite
9) Carrying around glitter to throw on guys
10) Have an Edward Cullen poster that, suspiciously, has make-up all over Edward's face
These friends basically ruin the Twilight Victim's (also known as Twictim) life because they never shut the fuck up about retarded things, like how gorgeous Edward Cullen is, even though he looks like a freak.
A Twictim also has many good defensive arguments as to why Twilight is bullshit. Some of these may include, but are not limited to:
1) Men don't sparkle
2) Apples don't bounce
3) Men don't sparkle
4) The only way to kill a vampire is to DRIVE A WOODEN STAKE THROUGH IT'S HEART!!
5) Men honestly don't sparkle. They just don't
6) Twilight has NO plotline. It is a series of events happening between two not-so-good looking people. And one of those people sucks blood
7) The entire Cullen family looks like they're made of wax. What is attractive about that?
8) My sunglasses are NOT Edward Cullen's
9) They don't fly. They jump/glide/float. Do you see them flapping their wings? No. Do you know why? Because they're not really vampires, and they don't have wings like vampires are supposed to have!!!
10) And finally, men DO NOT sparkle. No. Never will. Never. I'm sorry
Twictims sometimes lash out against these girls by writing things such as, "Edward Cullen sucks" and "Twilight sucks". Sometimes he may even go as far as destroying the girls handwritten fan fiction, which may consist of simply drawn naked pictures of Edward Cullen sitting on the girl's lap. It is enough to make anyone cry.
PLEASE HELP THE CAUSE:
Twictimism is a horrible disease that ravages millions of innocent teenage boys every year. Whenever you see a Twilight DVD, break it. If you see a poster, burn it. Slap girls when they speak of Twilight. Twictimism is a curable disease, but we need your help.
This has happened because the friends-that-are-girls of this man have become completely addicted to everything and anything that has to do with the movie "Twilight". These friends may wear articles of black or dark blue clothing that say completely stupid phrases like, "Your scent is like a drug to me", "I'd never given much thought to how I would die... But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go", or, "You are my life now". The Twilight Victim has no idea what significance these phrases have, and most Twilight Victims haven't even seen the movie. They learn to hate the parts of the movie that the girls mention most. The girls only mention certain parts to the Twilight Victim, the parts that the girl knows will piss off the guy the most.
The friends are also characterized by:
1) Comparing the way people look to Edward Cullen and Isabella Who-Gives-A-Shit
2) Threatening to "Cut you up and burn you", if you don't "Get in the sunlight and sparkle"
3) Getting mad at ME for wearing sexy sunglasses, then yelling at me that I need to take them off and give them back to Edward Cullen
4) Having an obsession with red apples
5) Dropping red apples on their foot and trying to make it pop back into their hand
6) For some reason, they like really old rusty beat-up red pickup trucks
7) Love cloudy/rainy days
8) Like to bite
9) Carrying around glitter to throw on guys
10) Have an Edward Cullen poster that, suspiciously, has make-up all over Edward's face
These friends basically ruin the Twilight Victim's (also known as Twictim) life because they never shut the fuck up about retarded things, like how gorgeous Edward Cullen is, even though he looks like a freak.
A Twictim also has many good defensive arguments as to why Twilight is bullshit. Some of these may include, but are not limited to:
1) Men don't sparkle
2) Apples don't bounce
3) Men don't sparkle
4) The only way to kill a vampire is to DRIVE A WOODEN STAKE THROUGH IT'S HEART!!
5) Men honestly don't sparkle. They just don't
6) Twilight has NO plotline. It is a series of events happening between two not-so-good looking people. And one of those people sucks blood
7) The entire Cullen family looks like they're made of wax. What is attractive about that?
8) My sunglasses are NOT Edward Cullen's
9) They don't fly. They jump/glide/float. Do you see them flapping their wings? No. Do you know why? Because they're not really vampires, and they don't have wings like vampires are supposed to have!!!
10) And finally, men DO NOT sparkle. No. Never will. Never. I'm sorry
Twictims sometimes lash out against these girls by writing things such as, "Edward Cullen sucks" and "Twilight sucks". Sometimes he may even go as far as destroying the girls handwritten fan fiction, which may consist of simply drawn naked pictures of Edward Cullen sitting on the girl's lap. It is enough to make anyone cry.
PLEASE HELP THE CAUSE:
Twictimism is a horrible disease that ravages millions of innocent teenage boys every year. Whenever you see a Twilight DVD, break it. If you see a poster, burn it. Slap girls when they speak of Twilight. Twictimism is a curable disease, but we need your help.
My Twihard Friend: "Hey, what's up?"
Me(Twilight Victim): "Nothin' much. It's sunny out today."
Twihard: "I know...I hate it."
Me: "Yah, I'd hate it too if I was wearing a jet black shirt like that."
Twihard: "Well, that's not why I hate today. It's too sunny. It's not vampire weather. It's hardly ever sunny in Forks."
Me: "Forks? Where the hell is that!? And what does that shirt say...? 'Your scent is like a drug to me.' What's that supposed to mean?"
Twihard: "Exactly what it says."
Me: "You smell like a drug? Wait..." *sniffs the Twihard* "Gross! It SMELLS like you've been wearing that shirt for a month!"
Twihard: *sigh* "That's cus I have. I love this shirt."
Me: "Gross! I can't hang around with you anymore, I'm sorry. I just can't take this Twihard thing. Do you realize how stupid that movie is!?"
Twihard: "Yes, yes, you've explained it several times. But I don't care what you think. Twilight is the best thing to ever happen, you just haven't come to the light yet."
Me: "And I hope to God I never will. Anyways, bye. It was nice knowing you."
Twihard: "Hey, take off Edward's glasses!"
The Twictim in this situation has just lost one of his friends, thereby dropping a piece of his social life. This may continue, bit by bit, until his life has been ravaged by Twictimism
Me(Twilight Victim): "Nothin' much. It's sunny out today."
Twihard: "I know...I hate it."
Me: "Yah, I'd hate it too if I was wearing a jet black shirt like that."
Twihard: "Well, that's not why I hate today. It's too sunny. It's not vampire weather. It's hardly ever sunny in Forks."
Me: "Forks? Where the hell is that!? And what does that shirt say...? 'Your scent is like a drug to me.' What's that supposed to mean?"
Twihard: "Exactly what it says."
Me: "You smell like a drug? Wait..." *sniffs the Twihard* "Gross! It SMELLS like you've been wearing that shirt for a month!"
Twihard: *sigh* "That's cus I have. I love this shirt."
Me: "Gross! I can't hang around with you anymore, I'm sorry. I just can't take this Twihard thing. Do you realize how stupid that movie is!?"
Twihard: "Yes, yes, you've explained it several times. But I don't care what you think. Twilight is the best thing to ever happen, you just haven't come to the light yet."
Me: "And I hope to God I never will. Anyways, bye. It was nice knowing you."
Twihard: "Hey, take off Edward's glasses!"
The Twictim in this situation has just lost one of his friends, thereby dropping a piece of his social life. This may continue, bit by bit, until his life has been ravaged by Twictimism
by Simian Infernus June 3, 2009
Get the Twilight Victim mug.The entire series is just Meyer (no - wait, my mistake - Bella) swooning over how lucky she is to have such a great he man (aka strong fag), Edward. Edward is from a clan of pussy vampires who never drink human blood. They also have no other vampiristic qualities, so they might as well be Chupacabras. THEN there's the Blacks, an Indian Tribe (so Meyer's got her mix of negro-allusions and redskins) which prominently features Jacob, a boy who, aside from loving Bella for no good reason, is...um... a vampire/shapeshifter?
So Edward is (aside from incredibly beautiful and gorgeous and oh-so-Adonis) very stony. He's often compared to marble, granite and limestone. Alright, not limestone. That's me.
Bella is your ho-hum average bitch with nothing better to do than fall in front of cars, rapists, other vampires, werewolf/transformers and other unbelievable scenarios. She always has Mr. Sparkles to get her ass outta trouble.
Breaking Dawn was the shit (literally). She fawns over Edward and when they do it, they get it DONE. Edward beats the bloody mess out of her without her noticing because I guess getting fucked by a marble cock is mezmerizing enough to not notice you're being bruised like a beat-down banana. Ed is too afraid to hump her again, but Bella seduces him (???~!!!!) with the sorriest lines and he does her again. This time he can focus his horny powers and busts the headboard open. And, oh yeah, bites pillows. Because to 12-30+ year old women, men who bite pillows are fierce lovemakers. Honestly, I'd be wondering what the fuck his problem was.
I stopped there (I'd been looking for reading-porn, but this was ridiculous) but from what I heard, Bella goes all Alien and has a kid go BLAM from her cooch in a hard placenta. She spits up "fountains" (meyer's own words) of blood. Nice. But the bitch don't die.
In the end a huge, built up battle never happens, Jacob Black is destined to fall in love with their kid (further enforcing Meyer's pedo dreams) and Bella and Edward have buttsex till the nerves in her ass go raw.
Meyer is a vain, self-inserting, mormopedophile. It's a good idea that went wrong after the first sentence. I picked up that book when I heard the concept (BEFORE it got popular) and put it down the same day. Someone had to force me to read the damn thing later. I knew nothing of literature at the time - all I knew was that it sucked heavy ass. When we've got the same people who recommend The Catcher in the Rye or Harry Potter or a Clockwork Orange recommending this bullshit, I seriously fear for our future. And I may sound overdramatic with that, but I'm dead serious. Me and my few not-Twitarded friends fight HARD because that book is seriously embarrassing. I thought Sarah Dessen was bad, but Meyer is fucked in the head.
So Edward is (aside from incredibly beautiful and gorgeous and oh-so-Adonis) very stony. He's often compared to marble, granite and limestone. Alright, not limestone. That's me.
Bella is your ho-hum average bitch with nothing better to do than fall in front of cars, rapists, other vampires, werewolf/transformers and other unbelievable scenarios. She always has Mr. Sparkles to get her ass outta trouble.
Breaking Dawn was the shit (literally). She fawns over Edward and when they do it, they get it DONE. Edward beats the bloody mess out of her without her noticing because I guess getting fucked by a marble cock is mezmerizing enough to not notice you're being bruised like a beat-down banana. Ed is too afraid to hump her again, but Bella seduces him (???~!!!!) with the sorriest lines and he does her again. This time he can focus his horny powers and busts the headboard open. And, oh yeah, bites pillows. Because to 12-30+ year old women, men who bite pillows are fierce lovemakers. Honestly, I'd be wondering what the fuck his problem was.
I stopped there (I'd been looking for reading-porn, but this was ridiculous) but from what I heard, Bella goes all Alien and has a kid go BLAM from her cooch in a hard placenta. She spits up "fountains" (meyer's own words) of blood. Nice. But the bitch don't die.
In the end a huge, built up battle never happens, Jacob Black is destined to fall in love with their kid (further enforcing Meyer's pedo dreams) and Bella and Edward have buttsex till the nerves in her ass go raw.
Meyer is a vain, self-inserting, mormopedophile. It's a good idea that went wrong after the first sentence. I picked up that book when I heard the concept (BEFORE it got popular) and put it down the same day. Someone had to force me to read the damn thing later. I knew nothing of literature at the time - all I knew was that it sucked heavy ass. When we've got the same people who recommend The Catcher in the Rye or Harry Potter or a Clockwork Orange recommending this bullshit, I seriously fear for our future. And I may sound overdramatic with that, but I'm dead serious. Me and my few not-Twitarded friends fight HARD because that book is seriously embarrassing. I thought Sarah Dessen was bad, but Meyer is fucked in the head.
Twilight sucks more ass than a vacuum glued to JLo.
Even Robert Pattinson knows it's stupid, he's said it himself.
Stephenie Meyer is a pedophile and I hope she reads this so she'll know that we know her secret. Making kids fall in love with people that old, WHAT'S HER MOTHERFUCKIN PROBLEM?
Edward loves the whisper song because when he banged Bella, he really beat the pussy up.
Even Robert Pattinson knows it's stupid, he's said it himself.
Stephenie Meyer is a pedophile and I hope she reads this so she'll know that we know her secret. Making kids fall in love with people that old, WHAT'S HER MOTHERFUCKIN PROBLEM?
Edward loves the whisper song because when he banged Bella, he really beat the pussy up.
by talking space monkeys August 13, 2008
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