Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets

"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"

by Yllom.gollom October 4, 2016

Crumpet Moment

When an individual attempts to be funny but instead grossly enacts a social faux pas of such painful proportion that it becomes a new core memory for the speaker.

Wow, the Trump versus Elon beef has soo many crumpet moments in it!

by Donnum June 6, 2025

crumpet dodger

A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.

"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"

by Joni-K July 6, 2016

crumpet strumpet

UK old woman who sits around eating crumpets and flirting excessively online in chatrooms with anyone who will talk to her.

The crumpet strumpet was overly aggressive in chat.

by Goonie's Revenge September 23, 2023

Crumpet muffin

The thing kids say to be cool instead of saying mother fucker.

You crumpet muffin!

by Yolo beast yolo loo April 24, 2014

buttery crumpet

When you slab that butter on the crumpet and it melts all the way through to the plate.

That was such a buttery crumpet I licked the plate afterwards.

by anonymous August 18, 2022