Newton's Turd Law 

The turd law exists as a precaution to those who, while holding in their poop, have the urge to sneeze. It states that, in such condition, for every sneeze, there is an equal and disgustingly opposite reaction.

I gotta sneeze.

Didn't you say you had to shit, too?

Yeah, so what...

Dude you can't sneeze or you'll totally shit your pants.

Says whom?

Newton's Turd Law, read a book.

Newton's Turd Law by bevindelvin July 4, 2015

Polish a turd 

To describe something that no matter how much effort you put in to clean it... It will always be sh*t.

Boss: Deep clean the bleachers with soap and water.
Worker: Man, that's like 'polishing a turd'- regardless how clean we get them.. They will always get dirty.

Polish a turd- Alter something that can never be forgotten.

Polish a turd by GordoTheGreek June 1, 2016

yellow grease turd 

the stool one produces after eating a filthy unwashed asian

i shoulden't have ate that dirty asian baby yesterday, i dropped such a large yellow grease turd this morning

yellow grease turd by whindman March 30, 2011

phantom turd 

the turd that always returns no matter how many times you flush...

The phantom turd would not flush no matter how hard I tried.

phantom turd by unknown June 11, 2006

hot air over a turd 

fart

Gary: I have to bust ass.

Jennifer: that smells like hot air over a turd!

hot air over a turd by jahezzie August 4, 2008

Futon Turd

All sorts of Asian promises that never seem to be what you hoped.

"He just gave me the biggest futon turd"

Futon Turd by Hook em Horns February 11, 2009

ariel the turd 

ariel is a turd and can fly

person1:Hey bruh you see taht
person2:its ariel the turd
person1:she smells

ariel the turd by ghklglyfuy December 17, 2013