The Hamper Technique

The evasive position for an organisation who's received a complaint.

The purpose of the hamper technique is to deliberately misinterpret a person's complaint in order to avoid acknowledging that something has gone wrong.

(Often used by companies, councils and government departments / services.)
1. I complained to the bicycle company because after I paid, they sent me a bike without peddles. They emailed straight back to say they were investigating my complaint that I had bought a banana from them and didn't like the taste. Two days later I got an "official" closed complaint letter which explained that they did not sell bananas so it they did not hold any responsibility for the taste of bananas. The Hamper Technique in Effect!

2. I contacted my local hospital for a copy of their complaints procedure after they stitched me back up with a pair of scissors left inside my stomach. Three weeks later, I was sent a summary of my complaint which stated that I'd complained about the number of stitches they used. (The Hamper Technique).
by Davina Los-Defino February 09, 2018
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Slamboni Technique

A technique in which a person jumps over their enemy, grabs them by the neck, and piledrives them.
Wow, that wrestler used the Slamboni Technique on the other wrestler!
by wyainpj December 30, 2019
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Literary Technique

Literary techniques are specific, deliberate constructions of language which an author uses to convey meaning. An author's use of a literary technique usually occurs with a single word or phrase, or a particular group of words or phrases, at one single point in a text.
You will use different types of Literary Techniques for your short story.
by Three-way September 28, 2021
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Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
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Badgering technique

To annoy the shit out the victim till they go out with you.
My rizz ain’t working finna use the badgering technique.
by The rizz goats May 22, 2022
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seaside technique

its a sex. thing.
"THE FUCKS THE SEASIDE TECHNIQUE" "its a sex. thing."
by hi babe. real. October 21, 2021
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The Dong technique

The art of the dong. Known only to the most sophisticated of human beings. Of the highest order. Just reading this you question your existence for not knowing this art.
Man 1-Have you heard of The Dong Technique?
Man 2-What’s that?
Man 1-I see...
by TheManOfDong July 22, 2019
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