Computer Illiterate

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To not understand computers, and to be unable to perform simple tasks with them.

The term also refers to those who do know know simple computer related terms or software applications, such as Microsoft Word.

This term does not extend to understanding 1337 speak or to those who aren't h4x0rs

Mitchell: Yo Johnny! Been h4x0ring any b0x0rs?

Johnny: Wah?

Mitchell: Oh, yer, you are computer illiterate.

Johnny: Wah?

Computer Illiterate by Unknown [to an extent] December 28, 2005

Computer Mullet 

Having two monitors on your home PC and working on one monitor and being non-productive on the other. Business on one side, party on the other.

Boss: "Allan, are you watching porn instead of working?"
Allan: "It's cool boss, it's my computer mullet. Check it, email is over here!"
Boss: "Tight!"

Computer Mullet by Chiliwhomp September 10, 2010

Computer Tired 

Lack of mental and/or physical stamina to work at a computer for a full workday while utilizing critical thinking. Typically 8-10 hours.

I should have added the family tree. Guess I was getting computer tired by that time!

Computer Tired by DaughterNiece October 6, 2018

Computer Hand 

When you are on the computer and the hand you use the mouse with gets cold while your other hand remains warm.

Despite having computer hand, Mansour still was on the computer looking for shoes he will never get

Maha: Sour, why do you have only one glove on?
Sour: I was getting computer hand, so I'm hoping this glove will make it go away. Does it make me look like MJ bro?

Computer Hand by Mansour131 January 14, 2010

computer-palsy

noun.
1. A person that is so bad at using a computer that they actually appear to be severely spastic or mentally retarded.

2. A computer technician that is really horrible at his or her job.

I can't believe Edgar couldn't fix that printer problem for that customer, sometimes I think he has the worst case of computer-palsy.

computer-palsy by Archyis April 16, 2007

Computer Jock 

Originally coined in 1995 in the small town of Mooresville, NC. A computer jock was someone who exhibited the traits of an old school nerd, but was also active in athletics. In a typical day they could be found acing a test and then being called to the principle's office for sleeping through another class. After school you'd likely find them at practice, whether that was track, cross country, basketball, or football. After practice however they could be found replacing their 9600baud modem with a brand new 14.4k so they could dial into the new BBS in town.

Now-a-days, that same person is likely working in IT, software, or is some kind of engineer. They likely still have computer parts laying around in their closets and can speak fluent nerdian if they run into another nerd. But outside of work you might be surprised when you discover their nerd side. You'd likely find them hiking up a mountain, rock climbing, surfing, running, mountain biking, kayaking, or some other outdoor sport. They can fit in socially and will likely be around other active people. You'll occasionally see them slip up and let the nerd side venture into that portion of their life when they discover someone else in the group is a computer jock as well... the conversation could quickly go from sports to the latest open-source java framework or what makes ruby, or java, or python better than other languages.

You'd never guess it, but that guy is a computer programmer. He used to be a complete nerd, but then he got lasik done and got into triathlons, now he's a computer jock.

Computer Jock by zionvier February 16, 2010

Computer Chair Swap Out 

When you have another chair other than the computer chair positioned near your computer. You can use a wooden chair as a cover up by placing drinks on it. And then when nobody is home, you swap out your computer chair with the wooden chair so that you don’t get any jizz stains on the computer chair while jacking off. If you accidently jizz on the wooden chair, it doesn’t leave a stain and you can clean it very easily.

All right! Nobody is home...I’m going to pull off the computer chair swap out and masturbate to some porn.

Computer Chair Swap Out by Dancing with Fire July 14, 2011