Blumpkin, The
Blumpkin, The by CrAzYgIdEoN May 19, 2003
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Blumpkin Progressive
A masterful Procedure from professor Blumpkin... on how to actually get the coveted Blumpkin from your ho.
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Let yourself splatter a little bit when you fart during intercourse... like on her pillow case and shit. This way she'll rub her face and sleep on a small part of your feces each and every night.
Step 3) GO FOR IT! Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens, "I agree that was awful! I never want that to happen again!! Let's take it into the bathroom next time, because obviously you turn me on so much I just have to shit myself silly whenever I cum!"
Step 4) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled life together.
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Let yourself splatter a little bit when you fart during intercourse... like on her pillow case and shit. This way she'll rub her face and sleep on a small part of your feces each and every night.
Step 3) GO FOR IT! Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens, "I agree that was awful! I never want that to happen again!! Let's take it into the bathroom next time, because obviously you turn me on so much I just have to shit myself silly whenever I cum!"
Step 4) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled life together.
Blumpkin Progressive (n.) "Man that Progressive Blumpkin shit really worked! Man I can't so much as fart without that dirty whore wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts... thanks Progressive Blumpkin"
Blumpkin Progressive by Tyler Breckenridge November 11, 2005
Related Words
blumpkin beatnick
violent spray fart while receiving a blumpkin so forceful that feces lands on the chin creating the appearance of a soul patch on of the giver of said blumpkin.
blumpkin beatnick by vinginzo July 18, 2010
Blumpkin Patch
While receiving a blumpkin a turd scrapes off on her chin leaving a shit stain, similar to a soul patch.
Is that chocolate on your chin? Oh! I just gave my boyfriend a blumpkin. It must be a blumpkin patch.
Blumpkin Patch by Kompteck September 20, 2010
blumpkin blast
The act of holding your partner upside down while shitting on the toilet, as they give you head and you finger blast their ass or vagina at the same precise moment.
I cant believe Tom Arnold could even hold Rosanne upside down, never mind stomach a blumpkin blast with her!
blumpkin blast by Tony Petrarc October 29, 2010
Blumpkin Pie
The act of having a Ménage à trois while the woman is dressed as a Pilgrim or Indian Squaw. One guy is in the process of receiving a blumpkin, while the other is in the process of giving the woman a cream pie.
The first Blumpkin Pie.
While Miles Standish was in the outhouse (after the first Thanksgiving), the hot redheaded pilgrim girl started to give him a blumpkin. John Smith came by and was so aroused that he joined in and gave her a cream pie.
While Miles Standish was in the outhouse (after the first Thanksgiving), the hot redheaded pilgrim girl started to give him a blumpkin. John Smith came by and was so aroused that he joined in and gave her a cream pie.
Blumpkin Pie by Uncle Kreepy November 22, 2011
Blumpkin Spice
What you get when you and taking a dump, getting a blowjob, and drinking coffee (specifically pumpkin spice flavored), at the same time.
Dude last night I was so stoked. I was just dumping, drinking my folgers pumpkin spice coffee, and then this hot girl randomly came in and gave me a blowjob. It was amazing. Gotta love blumpkin spice.
Blumpkin Spice by OhNooooo November 23, 2010